Target

I am fed up of paying £4.95 a week, I want my £20-£25 back a month. That will allow me to have my lashes done every other month or get a new outfit or put it towards a trip away, over 12 months it would be £257 I would be saving……..

The easy option is to stop going to group, but I enjoy it. I like the accountability of getting weighed each week, I like getting a shiny sticker at my next milestone. If I don’t go to group I have no accountability and my weight will spiral out of control, I know it will. So what I need to do is get to target, hit my milestone where I feel comfortable and then I can stop paying.

When I first started going almost 2 years ago, I decided that I wanted to lose 2 stone and that I would be happy with that weight loss. I am 5.5lb away from that, or I was when I got weighed last week, when this goes live it probably wont be true. Do I feel ready to call target? I am not sure, I am loving that I am a comfortable size 14 in most shops. I am pretty happy with my size and feel more body confident than ever. However, I am wondering if I was to go a little bit further, maybe 2.5 stone award should be my target? Then I wonder if I will ever be happy!

I know my body cant cope when I lose too much, it panics and I start to put weight on, I cant maintain what the NHS believes my weight should be in line with my BMI. Ultimately, I just want to be at a weight where I can go in to a shop and not have to worry as I can just pick a size up and know it fits. I can do that now, so what I am waiting for? Nothing is what I am waiting for, so I have a plan.

I am going to call target on 13th June, just over 2 years since my journey started. That is 8 weigh ins to go, my aim is to get that 5.5lb off and call target at my 2 stone award BUT ultimately I would be overjoyed if I could get my 2.5 stone award.

So the plan is moving forward, power through – write everything down. Stick to plan, have 1 cheat meal or day each week and that doesn’t have to be on the Thursday after weigh in.

I can’t wait to call target and get my money back each week – the challenge then will be staying within range and maintaining that weight.

Please be kind – keep temptation away!

Benefits

I recently was awarded my 1 stone award at slimming world, its been a long time coming and I am so pleased to have achieved this before going on our holidays & I am hoping to have my 1.5st award too – but that may be a little too adventurous!

I have been back on this slimming world journey since 1st June 2017, at first I kept quiet wanting to not draw attention, but as time went on I became more open. Its almost taken me a year to get my stone off, but thats because I have still been living a normal life and understood that i cant be on plan all the time and with that will come some gains.

But, I cant help but already see and feel some of the benefits to having 14lb off my body & I wanted to share these with you.

  • My clothes fit better, they arent tight & uncomfortable. I can fit into dresses i havent been able to wear for 2 years, I feel confident to try different styles & although I still see areas I can improve being able to take your jeans off without undoing them is pretty awesome!
  • My excess hair is lighter. My constant battle, is slowly becoming managable I am not sure if its weightloss, metformin or them combined, but the hair is growing back lighter and thinner however I cant comment on the speed as I havent waxed since xmas!
  • I am learning to like myself again. I am starting to like my body and what it does for me if I look after it properly. I dont mind that my legs are thicker than some or that I may have bigger hips. I feel pretty ok about who I am and although I have a way to go to balance my hormones for my PCOS, I can feel that i am starting to accept who I am.
  • My relationship with food is better, I am more inclined to go for healthier options than crisps or chocolate. Dont get me wrong I still have my moments, but I can say no alot more easily now than I used to.

Overall, these 14lbs have been hard to lose probably the hardest its ever taken me & I will admit I am nervous about 2 weeks in cuba and rectifying the gain when I get back. But I know that if I can remember my end goal of getting my body working again and not having to worry about my beard then I am sure I will find that will power again.

For everyone else on a similar journey, dont give up even when the road seems long and never ending. You will get there and the feeling you get when you hit that milestone feels so much more rewarding than the 5 minute satisfaction of that chocolate bar or packet of crisps.

You wont feel guilty for your weightloss, but you will after that takeaway.

Love

Emma xx

Judgement

This week whilst I was making a brew at Slimming World waiting for Image Therapy to start I was joined at the hot water urn by an older lady who was just in front of me in the queue for the scales.

She asked how I got on, a usual question between members ‘lost 1/2 a pound’, I replied cheerily to which she swiftly replied with a concerned look on her face ‘oh, I bet you are disappointed‘. After a quite a hormonal week, at one point this week I decided I didn’t like any of the human race, my blood started to boil and the stirring of my tea got a tad more aggressive. ‘Actually no I’m really happy, as in 14 weeks I would have lost 7lb, all the little halves add up!‘ I tried to be cheery through gritted teeth, she commented that she would have been disappointed and was glad to have lost a pound. I then remembered Janice (that’s my fake name for her) and that a couple of weeks back she wanted to get 7lb off before going on holiday and missed out by 1/2lb, I felt bad for her, however now I was like ha! you wouldn’t have been disappointed then would ya! 

Anyway, she went on to say that I didn’t have much more to lose surely, blood boiling even more, so when I replied that I actually had 3 stone to lose she looked surprised and was like surely not. So I thought sod it, I am going to over share, so I openly told her that following guidance from my consultant that’s what I needed to lose & started to walk back to my seat thinking she would give up. Oh heck no she didn’t, she then persisted to say that sometimes medical professionals are wrong and they want you to be unhealthily thin, at this point I was wishing someone would come rescue this woman from her potential death by words.

My reaction? I told her that no illnesses are visible and that I need to lose that weight to make my body function normally and healthily and that I was not looking to be thin, but to be healthy. 

Thankfully, before I really went off on one, I noticed a missed call from my brother so I make my excuses and called him back whilst taking my seat.

Normally, things like that I would brush off and get over within minutes, however this one has stuck with me. How dare someone who does not know me whatsoever think its appropriate to judge my weight loss that week OR my health OR how (cringe) thin I am?! Janice does not know my story, she does not know why I joined Slimming World or that I have been (extra cringe) thin before.

Its people like that who really get my back up.

For the longest time I have tried really hard not to pass judgement on anyone based on their weight, so what if someone weights 20 stone or 8 stone, it doesn’t change who they are. They may be on their own journey and who am I to judge how they are doing or where they are going. I have a lovely friend that I met recently who wasn’t happy with her weight and so is doing her damn hardest to put ON weight and I for one am proud of her for wanting to make a change to her body for HER.

Why can’t we all just accept each other for who we are and not pass any judgement? In the environment of a slimming club, be it weight watchers or slimming world everyone is there for one thing so why WHY WHY would you question, judge or belittle anyone’s achievement?

Literally, I am still fuming……

But do you know what, when I next see Janice I wont bite her head off, I would avoid her like the plague, I will ask her how she did on the scales and congratulate her for every victory no matter how big or small and I will console her on her unexpected gains. Because I am the better person, I wont judge her like she did me and I wont question her story like she questioned mine.

If I can ask you all to do one thing this week, its to try really hard not to pass judgement on someone when you know nothing about their story, or do you what, even if you do know their story. Still don’t judge them, just love them, even if they don’t ask for it.

Emma xxx

March

Wow, the 3rd month of the year! How quick is this year going already? Its crazy!

For the past 2 years I have done a “month off March” period to cull my poor eating habits and just challenge myself. This year I wasnt planning on doing anything, but after Matt & I saw the British Heart Foundation advert for dechocx and we decided that actually lets do it.

So for the past few days we both have been Chocolate free, however I have also been sweet, biscuit AND crisp free.

In my slimming world group 2 weeks ago I made the decision to go back to basics AND challenged myself to have my 1.5 stone award BEFORE we go to Cuba in May!

Matt & I both encourage each other witb naughty eating habits so I know this month will be a challenge BUT it will do us both some good and I know it will help me stick to plan and get me closer to reaching my goal!

My aim is to have at least my 1 stone award by the end of March!

Have a great March xxx