Judgement

This week whilst I was making a brew at Slimming World waiting for Image Therapy to start I was joined at the hot water urn by an older lady who was just in front of me in the queue for the scales.

She asked how I got on, a usual question between members ‘lost 1/2 a pound’, I replied cheerily to which she swiftly replied with a concerned look on her face ‘oh, I bet you are disappointed‘. After a quite a hormonal week, at one point this week I decided I didn’t like any of the human race, my blood started to boil and the stirring of my tea got a tad more aggressive. ‘Actually no I’m really happy, as in 14 weeks I would have lost 7lb, all the little halves add up!‘ I tried to be cheery through gritted teeth, she commented that she would have been disappointed and was glad to have lost a pound. I then remembered Janice (that’s my fake name for her) and that a couple of weeks back she wanted to get 7lb off before going on holiday and missed out by 1/2lb, I felt bad for her, however now I was like ha! you wouldn’t have been disappointed then would ya!Β 

Anyway, she went on to say that I didn’t have much more to lose surely, blood boiling even more, so when I replied that I actually had 3 stone to lose she looked surprised and was like surely not. So I thought sod it, I am going to over share, so I openly told her that following guidance from my consultant that’s what I needed to lose & started to walk back to my seat thinking she would give up. Oh heck no she didn’t, she then persisted to say that sometimes medical professionals are wrong and they want you to be unhealthily thin, at this point I was wishing someone would come rescue this woman from her potential death by words.

My reaction? I told her that no illnesses are visible and that I need to lose that weight to make my body function normally and healthily and that I was not looking to be thin, but to be healthy.Β 

Thankfully, before I really went off on one, I noticed a missed call from my brother so I make my excuses and called him back whilst taking my seat.

Normally, things like that I would brush off and get over within minutes, however this one has stuck with me. How dare someone who does not know me whatsoever think its appropriate to judge my weight loss that week OR my health OR how (cringe) thin I am?! Janice does not know my story, she does not know why I joined Slimming World or that I have been (extra cringe) thin before.

Its people like that who really get my back up.

For the longest time I have tried really hard not to pass judgement on anyone based on their weight, so what if someone weights 20 stone or 8 stone, it doesn’t change who they are. They may be on their own journey and who am I to judge how they are doing or where they are going. I have a lovely friend that I met recently who wasn’t happy with her weight and so is doing her damn hardest to put ON weight and I for one am proud of her for wanting to make a change to her body for HER.

Why can’t we all just accept each other for who we are and not pass any judgement? In the environment of a slimming club, be it weight watchers or slimming world everyone is there for one thing so why WHY WHY would you question, judge or belittle anyone’s achievement?

Literally, I am still fuming……

But do you know what, when I next see Janice I wont bite her head off, I would avoid her like the plague, I will ask her how she did on the scales and congratulate her for every victory no matter how big or small and I will console her on her unexpected gains. Because I am the better person, I wont judge her like she did me and I wont question her story like she questioned mine.

If I can ask you all to do one thing this week, its to try really hard not to pass judgement on someone when you know nothing about their story, or do you what, even if you do know their story. Still don’t judge them, just love them, even if they don’t ask for it.

Emma xxx

Advertisements

Body Image!

Recently matt an I have found ourselves watching music channels and listening to music we grew up listening to…..dont get me wrong it can be very varied.

But tonight I was sat watching the Janet Jackson all for you video tonight thinking christ….she is thin there! Then I tried to remember back to when I first saw the video and I cant recall thinking anything about her weight, just how much I loved the track. Then we had a bit of the spice girls and the same thing happened…..

Favourite Janet Jackson Song

I am really struggling to comprehend how and when my brian got turned to mush and my first thought when listening to music has gone from thinking about the music to thinking about how thay person or group looks?! 

Why is that acceptable? Who cares how small or big someone is if they have a talent so great they have managed to rack up number one singles and albums or even smashing box office records?! 

I tell you where it came from. The media. It feeds us all postive and negative crap everyday. On one page it will be telling us to embrace our natural physiche and in the other it will be a pictures of up and coming trends NONE of which are regular sized women all smaller framed ladies. Then they have the audacity to praise companies who have “real” women representing thier brands!!! 

Aaaaaahhhhh!!!


Since when has it become acceptable to judge someone on their size? Why do advertisers and designers favour the slender frame? Surely they want to appeal to all women and promote a healthy body image to all women?! 
Do not even get me started on what this attitude must be doing to younger generations. 

A while ago I made decision to try really hard not to comment or judge people on thier weight, how they dress or how they look as is none of my business if someone has put on 2 stone in 2 months BUT I will praise someone if I know they are actively trying to amend thier appearance because they are unhappy. I would love to live in a world where we build each other, praise each other and accept people for who they are not how they look. 


So I ask of you, when you next turn to someone and go to say ooh she has put on weight or what is she wearing. Dont. You dont what that person is going through or if those jeans are the next size down from the ones they were in last week.

And for gods sake do not encourage our youngsters especially our girls to focus on how they look! Congratulate them for other things. Dont teach them the only way to get compliments is by how you look and what you wear. 

So please! Next time you start to judge others on their appearance, consider how you would feel if someone said the same things about you, your sister, your mother, your aunt, your cousin or even your daughter.

Emma x