Corn II

I did something a little naughty the other week that if you follow my Instagram story you will have figured out, I spontaneously booked myself for another Liberty shoot with less than 2 weeks to go!

I have been feeling like I need a little pick me up for a while and I knew that some time with the Dimples & Daisies team would do the trick. I wasn’t really sure what to book myself on to or if I even wanted to do another shoot, but trawling through Instagram one caught my eye and I thought sod it, I have enough in the bank and I need this for me. Earlier that day walking round the town centre I decided I was spending too much money on food and that I dont treat myself to something nice very often, so with that in my mind I just booked myself on there and then.

So, the other Sunday afternoon I headed to the Dimples & Daisies studio in Southsea to be glammed up and head over to the Sunflower field with the rest of the girls on the shoot. We were all made up and deciding what clothes to wear when Holly got a call from another photographer to say that the sunflower field was ruined & they were all dead, the pictures were so upsetting! But fear not, they managed to source another option and we headed to Lordington Farm to have some fun in the corn!

Its not my first shoot in the corn, but that was back August 2015 and the photography style has changed so much since then and I am a completely different person now to what I was then.

FLASHBACK

Now before every shoot I would normally wax the beard and get rid of any excess hair that my body seems to love to grow, but I wanted this one to be a little different, I wanted it to be authentic. I wanted to look back on these photo’s in years to come and see the real me, the one that everyone else see’s. Believe me, there is no way to feel more real, authentic and true to yourself than being stood naked in a field of corn!

But do you know what is even stranger? Stood there having my photo’s taken, I was embracing everything the surroundings & the sun beating down on me & blissful peace on the farm. It wasn’t until about 5 minutes in that I realised that I hadn’t waxed & I didn’t feel insecure about my body or appearance at all I felt totally at ease with who I was. Sat writing this, I am in 2 minds about my photos, part of me cant wait to see the pictures, firstly how different they are but also to just see my appearance. However the other part of me is so incredibly anxious, what if I hate the way I look in them, what if it gives me any more issues with my body image and confidence? What if I go back 10 steps?

WHAT IF! 

I mean I don’t have long to wait, I pick up my photos in just over a week’s time, so stay tuned to see how things go!

Emma x

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My Biggest Enemy

I have one enemy in this world and its something I have hated for 10 years now, its called

Hirsutism

I have touched upon this on blogs that I have written before about my PCOS, but as it is my biggest enemy and my biggest personal issue I felt it deserved its own special time on my blog! I am unsure if my excess hair is as a result of my PCOS or if it is hereditary as there are females in my family that also suffer from this.

For those of you that dont know what Hirsutism is, it basically means excess hair in an area that women may not necessarily grow hair, which isnt exactly the most attractive thing you can have, especially as a young woman!

I have been doing some research recently to see what the causes of Hirsutism are and its actually really quite interesting and has really opened my eyes to my current diet. Basically recent studies have proven that high levels of insulin increase the development of Hirsutism, looking on good old wikipedia it does state that the above theory about insulin goes hand in hand with observations that obese women are at high risk of becoming hirsute (so basically lose some weight!!).

Now I know that Insulin has something to do with diabetes, but I am not 100% sure how the body creates insulin or how I can lower my levels of insulin to help reduce my Hirsutism. So I am going to have quick google and share what I find!

Guess what – Insulin is another bloody hormone, because I dont have too many already floating around my body! Its produced by the Pancreas to help turn sugar into engery. Another effect of insulin is to act on the ovaries to cause them to produce the male hormone testosterone.

Interestingly enough some websites claim that Insulin is the cause of PCOS, stating that women with PCOS have Insulin Resistance, meaning our bodies are resistant to the normal effect of Insulin and as a result more Insulin is produced to keep blood sugar levels normal. As a result of our bodies producing more Insulin, causes our bodies to produce more testosterone causing fewer eggs to release from our ovaries, excess hair growth and can even be the cause of weight gain!

At this point in writing this, I have changed my mind. Insulin is my enemy……Hirsutism has taken a back step, I have realised I can get rid of him when I get rid of her (Insulin)!

Its Just A Big Merry Go Round!

Its Just A Big Merry Go Round!

So to knock Insulin and Hirsutism on the head I need to figure out how to lower my Insulin levels, all websites are pointing me to 2 things, exercise and dieting. I have to admit since breaking my foot last year, the gym hasnt exactly been my top priority, but I want to reduce my Hirsutism so I need to go back, in fact I might even go tomorrow before work! Dieting…..no one likes to do it, I have been doing Slimming World on and off for a long time now, so I know what I should and shouldnt be eating, I just need to put it into practice.

Here we go again……

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Confusing Diets & PCOS!

OK, as you know for as long as I can remember I have been on a diet of some decription – mainly Slimming World! However, I have a new issue – I have been doing SW for so long that I CHEAT and only to myself! I dont count syns, I eat more A or B options than I should and get annoyed when I dont see any results on the scales!

Recently I have been researching what diets are best for people who suffer with PCOS, as for anyone who has followed this blog from the beginning will know after reading will know that I was diagnosed with this condition when I was 16/17, so almost 10 years ago!

I have read up of the typical symptoms of PCOS and can see myself in them so much & I want to do something to reduce these for me today, tomorrow and 10 years time! Here are the common symptoms of PCOS as per the NHS Website:

irregular periods or no periods at all
difficulty getting pregnant (because of irregular ovulation or failure to ovulate)
excessive hair growth (hirsutism) – usually on the face, chest, back or buttocks
weight gain
thinning hair and hair loss from the head
oily skin or acne

What i didnt realise is the risks that having PCOS can impact, women who suffer from PCOS are more at risk of the below as well:

type 2 diabetes – a condition that causes a person’s blood sugar level to become too high
depression and mood swings, as the symptoms of PCOS can affect your confidence and self-esteem
high blood pressure and high cholesterol, which can lead to heart disease and stroke
women who are overweight may also develop sleep apnoea – a condition that causes interrupted breathing during sleep

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Out of that list of 10 things, hand on heart I can say that at least 4 of those effect me and I want to do something about it, I want to be healthy for me. The big one that scares me on there is the difficulty of getting pregnant, I would love to one day (not in the near future) have a child and become a family with my significant other, but just like learning to save properly, I need to take this into my own hands and get something into action NOW!! Sitting around for the next 2 years carrying on as I am wont get me to a healthy weight range, it wont stop the excess hair growth, it wont stop my hair being thin, it wont stop my moodiness (especially about my weight) and it wont take the risk of diabetes or high blood pressure away either!

I have been looking at diets online and its really confusing, what is the best one out there and what should I be doing for me. Some of you will be reading this and saying ‘it depends on the person, different things work for different people’ and yes you are right, but unfortunately I am not the sort of person that can read a diet and go ‘Ok I know what I can/cant eat now’ I am not a good cook, so I need something written down so I know what I can and can’t do – which is why a slimming club worked for me, but I just dont think Slimming World is the right place for me at the moment.

As I write this, I have made the decision that I am going to book an appointment with my GP and get this all under control, request to see a dietician/nutrionist to help me things moving and get this show on the road! In the mean time, whilst I await an appointment (because it takes FOREVER!) I am going to cut carbs, diary & junk food out of my diet and keep exercising and just try to stay focused on the end goal. I know I can do this, I have lost the weight before I just need something or someone to help me this time…..maybe going back to Slimming World will help?!

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