Women Against Women

Today, I had my 3rd Liberty shoot with Dimples & Daisies, I feel so liberated during and after these shoots AND my confidence is always elevated as well.

However, after my shoot and on the drive home, I started to think about how the day went and what I enjoyed most about today and for me, it was easy!

I am and have been for a long time someone who sits and takes in her surroundings and listens to figure out her place and then figure out where I fit in. Today, I did a lot of listening and do you know I what I heard? Women building each up, encouraging each other and just being kind and supportive. Do you know what that got me thinking?

Why Is This Not Normal?

We are all, as women, so insecure about everything, from the way we look right through to our careers, to how we raise our children and how we love our partners. Do you know why, its not because of our arch enemy The Man its because we are tearing each other down.

Why Are We Doing This?

Why as women has it become acceptable to question each other and judge each other? Why on earth cannot we not encourage and support each other? I have seen far too many women/girls/teens etc. judging others for the way they look, sound, dress etc. why does it matter?

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We need to learn to raise each other up and encourage each other and just be kind to one another. After all, dont we have enough to deal with in life, without knowing that our fellow women are ready to tear us down the minute they have the chance?

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Just STOP

Dear Emma,

You my dear are a planner & an organiser you have over the past 10 years decided you need to have some form of control over everything and have all things planned down to the last minute. The fact that Matt changing his mind at the last minute drives you insane proves this – to be honest how you cope with that I have no idea haha!

But you need to STOP.

All the best things that have happened to you have been unplanned and just happened. Shall we take a look at a few of these?

  • Meeting Matt…..we shall just leave it at that
  • The House…..planning to move out in 2017……2016 bit your ass with that one!
  • Your Job…..only stay there a year? Nearly 10 years later and several promotions your now a manager?
  • Your Holidays…..yes they have been planned to some extent, but there is always an element of spontaneity!
  • Your Friends……funny how those that you thought would be there till the end aren’t around any more.

I know its become normal for you to plan out every last bit of your life down to a tee AND you will waste hours planning trips that you then get really upset when plans change. Just Stop It.

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Start living in the moment, start enjoying day to day more – stop missing things BE PRESENT. Just let life take you on a journey and enjoy the ride. You are missing out on having fun because your constantly worrying about whats happening in the future.

I know its not going to be easy and its a big pattern to change, but you need to do it for your health. Your brain cant keep dealing with all the criticism that you put on yourself. And its CONSTANT. You do not need to compare your body, your beauty, your life, your relationship, your financial situation, your career to anyone else in the world. WHY? Because you are perfect the way you are and you need to accept your flaw, embrace them and just be true to yourself – sod what anyone else is doing that’s their life.

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Learn to be GRATEFUL and APPRECIATE everything you have and what you have achieved. Stop wanting more or wanting what others have, the grass is NOT always greener and remember that you only see what people want you to see. Do you post on social media when you have had a crap day or if you cant afford to go on that holiday that you have been hoping for? No, of course you dont, because you only want to share the good stuff with people EVERYONE ELSE IS THE SAME. 

So, stop worrying about your holiday next year, what colour your going to pain the hall, when your going to lower the garden, how you want your kitchen to look, what your going to do for your 30th birthday. You have just over 100 days left of 2017, why not just enjoy them?

Spend time with your friends, go on adventures with Matt, cook more, read more, smile more, laugh a lot.

Enjoy the last year of your 20’s. 

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Just be kind to yourself!

Love

Emma xx

Body Image!

Recently matt an I have found ourselves watching music channels and listening to music we grew up listening to…..dont get me wrong it can be very varied.

But tonight I was sat watching the Janet Jackson all for you video tonight thinking christ….she is thin there! Then I tried to remember back to when I first saw the video and I cant recall thinking anything about her weight, just how much I loved the track. Then we had a bit of the spice girls and the same thing happened…..

Favourite Janet Jackson Song

I am really struggling to comprehend how and when my brian got turned to mush and my first thought when listening to music has gone from thinking about the music to thinking about how thay person or group looks?! 

Why is that acceptable? Who cares how small or big someone is if they have a talent so great they have managed to rack up number one singles and albums or even smashing box office records?! 

I tell you where it came from. The media. It feeds us all postive and negative crap everyday. On one page it will be telling us to embrace our natural physiche and in the other it will be a pictures of up and coming trends NONE of which are regular sized women all smaller framed ladies. Then they have the audacity to praise companies who have “real” women representing thier brands!!! 

Aaaaaahhhhh!!!


Since when has it become acceptable to judge someone on their size? Why do advertisers and designers favour the slender frame? Surely they want to appeal to all women and promote a healthy body image to all women?! 
Do not even get me started on what this attitude must be doing to younger generations. 

A while ago I made decision to try really hard not to comment or judge people on thier weight, how they dress or how they look as is none of my business if someone has put on 2 stone in 2 months BUT I will praise someone if I know they are actively trying to amend thier appearance because they are unhappy. I would love to live in a world where we build each other, praise each other and accept people for who they are not how they look. 


So I ask of you, when you next turn to someone and go to say ooh she has put on weight or what is she wearing. Dont. You dont what that person is going through or if those jeans are the next size down from the ones they were in last week.

And for gods sake do not encourage our youngsters especially our girls to focus on how they look! Congratulate them for other things. Dont teach them the only way to get compliments is by how you look and what you wear. 

So please! Next time you start to judge others on their appearance, consider how you would feel if someone said the same things about you, your sister, your mother, your aunt, your cousin or even your daughter.

Emma x

Love & Kindness

When you are sat in an a&e department in the middle of the night, strange things start to happen. Fellow relatives become friends, people to lend a friendly ear and comforting words. You become concerned by how their loved ones are doing and want regular updates.  You become known as the patients relative, but often with no name. However you will often find the medical staff will seek you out & make sure to check on you to make sure you are OK. You instantly keep an eye out for the patient in the bed opposite because they are here alone and update the nurses if something has happened out the ordinary. 

You might wonder how or why I am writing this. Well it’s currently 3 am on the morning of 4th April. I am meant to be in my bed in our lodge at Centre Parcs, but earlier in the evening my gorgeous boyfriend  (or partner as he has been referred to many times this evening) decided it would be a good idea to fall off his mountain bike. I would say that none of you know the fear you go through when you get that call from your loved one to say they have been in an accident, but in reality some of you do. My amazing cousins were fantastic, we all rallied round each other and they were great. However due to Matt’s injuries we were taken by ambulance to Bath Hospital.

He is with the resus team at the moment having his arm put back into socket but will need an operation on his fractured elbow within the next day or so, I am praying they will let us go back home for him to have it done there. 

I am just in awe of how people are dealing with such life changing events that are happening tonight. Hopefully Matt’s will be pretty minor and he will be back to normal within a couple of months. However a brother and sister I have been chatting with have travelled from London to Bath tonight for their mum as she has had a severe stroke and has a bleed on the brain. Her injuries will be life changing, but the family are holding things together so well. I just don’t think I would do the same. 

It’s now midday on Tuesday and I’m sat at Matt’s bedside. We finally got to a ward at 3 pm on Monday afternoon after 18 hrs at a&e! Matt unfortunately has broken a vertebrae in his back and has a very bad fractured elbow & arm. Luckily he doesn’t require any surgery on his back & he is going to be fitted with a back brace. However he does need surgery on his fractured elbow & arm as it’s a very bad break, the consultant this morning said that he did a really good job messing it up! We are hopeful to get a bed in a hospital closer to home, so he can be transferred down there after having the brace fitted today.

16th April
I am currently laid in MY bed with Matt at my side, he has had surgery on his arm and is enjoying being discharged from Hospital on Thursday after an 10 night stay. He will need physio to help get his arm back to full function, but his back should hopefully heal within the next 6 weeks. We had made the decision for me to leave Matt April 5th and return to work, his parents came up to be with him while I couldn’t be. Those days that I wasn’t with Matt were really emotional for me, not only was I worried about him, my bosses dog Chester, who we often looked after whilst she was away, was diagnosed with advanced cancer which was just as upsetting. It was made a more emotional week after the announcement of our close friends separating also. To say I have cried a lot of tears is an understatement. 

It was a big fight to get Matt to a hospital closer to home as they didn’t have a bed until 9th April and we couldn’t source any hospital transport, so I had to bring him back in my car. He was dosed up and we were sent on our way, arriving back home within 2 hrs and due to have his op the following day. Unfortunately due to swelling of his arm, he didn’t end up having surgery until Tuesday which ended up being the same day as Chester, I was on tender hooks all day! Thankfully his operation went well, he has ended up with a plate in his arm as well as wire and screws and will need checks regularly as well as physio. Chester’s op also went as well as expected, unfortunately it was too much for our favourite pooch and he didn’t make it through the night. My heart broke as I heard the news, not only sadness that he didn’t make it, but I knew just how much love my boss and her husband have for him and that they will be at a loss without him. 

However, Matt unfortunately took a turn for the worse on Wednesday he didn’t agree with the pain killers they were giving him and it ended up making him very ill and was definitely away with the fairies. To get texts from who you see as your strong man saying how much pain he was in & not being able to do anything is truly heartbreaking. Thankfully Hayley pulled me through and kept me strong at work and having Lee go to the hospital at visiting hours and report back to me gave me peace of mind whilst I finished my day at work. Luckily when I got to the hospital he was much better and almost back to his usual self. I was overjoyed when he called me early Thursday morning to say he would be discharged!

If the events of the last couple of weeks have taught me anything, it is the importance of love and kindness. We have both had support from people we least expected, Matt has received cards from people that we would never have thought! I just want to say to all of you who have taken the time to check on either or both of us over the last 2 weeks that we are so grateful and can never thank you enough for keeping our spirits high, especially during my most emotional moments!

Love

Emma xxx

A Life Filled With Love

Tomorrow, on 25th March 2016 2 of our most selfless friends will become Man & Wife.

I stumbled across this quote recently and as soon as I read it, I realised that I connected with it so much, because it reminds me not only of you both, but also the love and hopes we have for you both!

We cant wait to spend your special day with you and watch your journey as husband and wife unfold and see what the world has in store for you both! 
Wishing all the Love & Happiness in the world!
Emma & Matt xxxx