The OG

As most people who have followed this blog since it began a few years ago will know that this started with a Bucket List of 30 things to do before I turned 30. Well, I am turning 30 next month, actually in little over a months time and I got to thinking how much of the list I actually achieved….

1. Go To Vegas – Stayed for a week in April 2015
2. See The Sunrise At The Beach – Saw the sunrise from our hotel room over looking the beach in Mexico Jan 2016
3. Go To A Horse Race – Done On My 25th Birthday, August 2013 then again to the Grand National in 2014 AND then Glorious Goodwood August 2017!
4. Buy My Own Home – Unexpectedly and amazingly achieved this with Matt in December 2016!
5. Go On A Safari Visit A Fortune Teller
6. Buy A Designer Pair Of Sunglasses – Brought Bvlgari pair in 2013
7. Buy A Louis Vuitton Bag
8. Learn Pilates Or Yoga – A couple of classes attended throughout the years, but it never stuck!
9. Go To A Rodeo – Done In Ohio 2014
10. Reach Size 12 and Stay There
11. Fly First Class – We flew Premium with Thomas Cook to Mexico in 2016, which is their highest class, I guess that counts?
12. Grow A Sunflower – I managed to grow 3 in the summer of 2013 & want to plant more in my own garden.
13. Go On A Road Trip – With my parents and godparents we travelled from Indiana To Ohio in 2014
14. Go A Week Without Using Technology – Accomplished in January 2014
15. Run The Race For Life
16. Buy Something At An Auction
17. Visit Boston & Go Whale Watching
18. Be In The Audience Of A TV Show Go To The Mall Of America
19. Have Afternoon Tea At The Ritz – I did much more than that at the Ritz in January 2014
20. Experience Christmas In New York Have A Make Over At A Makeup Counter & Buy The Right Make Up For Me. – Had a full MAC makeover in March 2015, which reminds me I need more foundation!
21. Take My Godchildren Out For The Day By MyselfCelebrate My 30th Birthday In Style – I have some lovely things planned for my birthday including dinner at my favourite restaurant, a party with friends & a day in Brighton with my nearest and dearest.
22. Stay Up All Night Watching Movies
23. Go For A Girly Spa Break – Hayley & I treated ourselves in December 2014 & I had another spa trip for Trina’s hen in 2015!
24. Take A Photo Every Day For A Year
25. Attend A Fashion Show – Steph & I went to London Fashion Week in February 2014 & attended 2 catwalks!
26. Donate Blood –  Oh, I did this 3 times in 2013/2014 and fainted – not for me!
27. Milk A Cow – Loads of you came to watch me do this in March 2014
28. Make My Own Christmas Cards – I got my craft on for Christmas 2014
29. Book A Last Minute Holiday
30. Do A Photo Shoot With My Mum – We got in front of the camera July 2014

Wow a few that I haven’t managed and probably wont now with only a few weeks to go, but there is so much on this list that I have achieved and am proud of. Now, those of you that truly know me, will know that I am organised and have been known to be a planned and a list lover. So now my mind goes to what is next, in 10 years time, I will be sat here almost 40 – I wonder what my life will be like. Will we be married, have kids, own a dog, brought a holiday home? Oh goodness, so much could happen in the next 10 years and I really cannot wait to see what life throws at us and what adventures we go on! So, whilst I dont want to plan the next 10 years of my life or events that may occur, lets look at setting some GOALS that I want to achieve by the time I am 40 – ergh 40, it feels like a life time away!

This is hard, when I set the 30 things to do before I turned 30, I was already 5 years towards my 30th birthday…..this one is over 10 years away. However, with a skydive booked for just under a months time I am feeling a bit more fearless lately so maybe I need to do some more things outside of my comfort zone…..but for now, here are a couple of ideas.

  • Learn how to dive

When we were in Cuba recently, we spent quite a bit of time snorkeling & I really fell in love with the underwater world when we were in Mexico. Snorkeling is great fun and you get to see some wonderful sights, but I would like to go a bit deeper and see what the ocean really has to offer, so for me learning to dive would add something new to every adventure we go on.

  • Do more things for me

This is a weird one, I dont often treat myself when payday comes around, for the past 6 months I have been saying that I want to book myself in for a hot stone massage or a pedicure at one of those foot spa places. Instead I often end up spending my wages on eating out or the odd coffee here and there, don’t get me wrong I am a massive foodie so that would make sense, but by doing that I am not giving myself time to just wind down and really am not looking after me.

  • Go to Texas

This has been on my travel list for the longest of times and I am confident that by the time I am 40 I will have been. I would love to do a little road trip round the big cities, or just spend time in San Antonio on the river walk. I just need to be there and experience it for myself!

  • See Orca’s in the wild

Whale watching has been on the list for a long time too, initially I was happy to see any whales but actually I was settling and no-one should ever settle. Ever since I saw Free Willy when I was a young girl I have had a place in my heart for Orca’s & will often spend an hour on YouTube watching Orca encounters in the wild, so the plan is to head out to the west coast of America or Canada and get out on a whale watching trip or 2 or 3 and spot me some Orca’s!

  • Tour Buckingham Palace

Recently I have had a interest in Queen Victoria, it started after a trip to Windsor Castle. Some of you may be aware that she was the first royal to live in Buckingham Palace, so I would like to go there and be nosy and take a look round the state rooms, see where she lived and where our current monarch lives. I am intrigued by the royal family, I like learning about Queen Victoria and watching the way the current royal family is evolving, so a trip to Buck House is in order

  • See the Rockefeller Christmas Tree

The movie industry has a lot to blame for the fascination of New York at Christmas, I have seen NYC in the winter, we visited during a bitterly cold, snowy January and it was everything I had hope for. However, I didn’t see the tree & as a massive Christmas fiend that is the ultimate Christmas tree. In the past few years I have toyed with getting the first flight to NYC and the last flight home just to spend a few hours in the city seeing the tree and picking up some gifts, but can I really justify the expense?

Well, now you have an idea of some of the goals I want to achieve over the next 10 years, there will be a lot more I am sure, but I am really trying hard not to plan every second of my life and just see how things go!

What would would be on your list of things to achieve? Comment below!

Love

Emma xxx

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Self Love

Recently I have been wondering if I have stopped caring about myself, my nails aren’t done as often as they could be, I don’t wax my “beard” as often as I used to and I honestly can’t remember the last time I brought myself some new clothes.

It has left me wondering, when did I fall out of love with myself?

I am going to slimming world, but even that after all the times I have been going over the past 10+ years, I have never struggled so much to lose weight and I am wondering if I have just resigned myself to thinking that I can’t?!

If I don’t love or care for myself, how can I expect others to?

This really hit me when we were getting ready to go to Budapest, normally I would have waxed my beard, put a new coat of nail varnish on my fingers and toes and perhaps brought something new to wear whilst we were away.

I didn’t and it was almost like I couldn’t be bothered to put the effort in, don’t get me wrong owning and running a house is hard work and that combined with a busy and sometimes stressful job means that I don’t want to come home and put myself through the pain of waxing, I would rather come home and write or watch a movie.

Then I considered if actually I am just getting a bit more comfortable in my skin and that what they say is true, the older you get the less you worry about what others think. However, I know that is not true, if it was I wouldn’t be pushing my GP and the entire NHS into doing something about my hirsutism and helping me to reduce my PCOS symptoms. So I have come to a conclusion.

I have stopped loving myself.

It’s true, the signs are there as they are with any relationship or friendship. The effort has stopped, I don’t put myself first (although that has never been the case), and I feel unworthy of nice things. I need to turn it around; I definitely feel that is why I have got myself in such tizz lately.

The Girl Power You are Enough Manifesto. | I promise to not be an asshole to myself. Hell, I promise to love myself. I will remember that my self-worth is not based on what I look like, how much I weigh, how many followers I have, or any other stupid crap that has nothing to do with who I am. I will empower other girls and women. I will be kind. Fiercely kind. I will have a sense of humor. I will do my best not to gossip, create drama, or judge others (or myself). I will remember that just...

Now painting my nails used to be my thing I would experiment with different styles and colours, for me it was a great way to be creative and just have some down time – Christ I even did a mini blog called Mani Monday a couple of years back – perhaps I need to get back into that routine? But whenever I did my nails, I felt good about myself, I felt that even if my excess hair was bad or I wasn’t happy with my appearance I knew my nails were always “on point”.

Why did that ever stop?

Self-waxing is horrible, painful and just takes a lot of courage, however I did this because I couldn’t afford the money to go and get waxed whilst saving and I also became unhappy with my beautician and if I am honest I actually felt embarrassed about having to going there. Now however, I still don’t have a lot of spare cash & I live in a different area so could find a new beautician, but the embarrassment of having to go for that reason is still deep inside.

I need to get over that.

It is their profession and they will have waxed worst areas! So I am going to check out beauticians in my local area and the prices and start taking care of myself a bit more, I know the hair has a massive impact on my self-confidence and my feeling of self-worth so if I can get that back under control it will be a step in the right direction.

We often are too harsh on ourselves and expect us to be capable of living a perfect life and have everything rosy with no problems. However, it is unrealistic, we will all fall out of love with ourselves at times and it is ok to recognise that, let’s just not set up camp and live there. I have been & if I am honest I have been living in that self-loathing camp for a while now but it’s not a great place to be.

So with a swift kick up my own backside, I am packing up my tent and moving on to somewhere better. Where I can be happier, stronger and more confident, a place where if I perhaps show myself and my body a little bit of love, it might show me how great it is in return.

I won’t lie, it won’t be an easy journey and I am sure I will make some backward steps along the way, but as I said in a previous post about my goals for 2018;

This is my year and I am NOT going to turn 30 as unhappy with my body as I have been in my 20’s.

Jump

Well its booked!

I am (weather permitting) jumping out of a plane on Monday 27th August! 3 days before my 30th Birthday what a great way to kick off the celebrations for my birthday, I honestly couldn’t of thought of anything better.

Am I nervous? Yes

Am I excited? Yes

I honestly cant wait and what makes it even better than some family and friends have decided to join me too and I am so honored that they would want to join me (well watch me). I always feel humbled when people make the choice to spend their time with me, I guess that is my lacking in confidence that causes that. Always shocked that people want to experience things with me – I dont know why, but hey I guess it makes me appreciate them all a little more!

Talking of my 30th Birthday, I have even arranged a meal with mine and Matt’s parents on my actual Birthday. We are going to Koh Thai Tapas in Southsea, its a gorgeous Thai restaurant and I adore the food not to mention the cocktails!

But I would love to do something with my friends as well, but what to do is where I am stumped.

Do I go for an evening of drinks and nibbles with some of our closest friends OR a girls day out in Brighton? 

I really dont know what to do, I still have a little while to choose as I would like to give people time to make sure they are free and arrange sitters, save up some money etc. So I figure I will decide by March I kinda want to do both, but that’s really greedy! I need to think about what I will enjoy the most and that if I do one and not the other that I wouldn’t have any regrets.

I am sure I will figure it out and I will arrange something or perhaps someone could do it for me haha!

Love

Emma xx

30

I am 30 next year…….9 months away……30.

We have so much going on next year, driveways, decorating & weddings that I am not even sure that we will get to do the trip we had hoped to do for my 30th. Yes its disappointing. But we have a lot of plans and money isn’t never ending and we just have to save.

However. I am 30 next year. 

Over the past few years I have had a fear of my birthday. Peoples priorities are different, so gone are the days where you would have a giant sleepover with your girlfriends or a massive party in the garden. Its scaled back and shared with a select few. However 30 is pretty big. I feel like it needs to be celebrated. But like always I am putting everyone’s needs and lives in front of my own wants.

Thinking they wont be able to do that because of the kids, or those people wont be able to afford that, or no-one will want to do that.

I need to heed my own advice. The people that really want to celebrate will do all they can to be there. 

That in its self worries me. Will it end up just me and Matt? When did I start feeling so insecure that no-one wants to spend time with me? Where has this come from?

I need to stop this. I need to have a bit more confidence. 

So I thought I would share my ideas with you and see what you think!

  • Big Boozy Brunch at our pad an open house with champers, bucks fizz and a selection of yummy brunch pastries
  • Dinner out at my “favourite” restaurant, I dont really have a favourite – or should I say one everyone can afford/attend
  • Rent A Party House a long weekend with select friends……
  • HOLIDAY just Matt & I on the beach drinking cocktails and eating lots of yummy food

There is just a few idea’s, none of which I am tied to or particularly loving, but I feel I need to do something for my 30th!

What did you do?

Milestone Birthday!

For those of you that have followed me since the beginning of my blogging journey will know that this all started because I wanted to do 30 things before I turned 30 and on my Bucket List (which is still tucked away) was to throw a massive party for my 30th Birthday! When Paperless Post, an American (don’t worry they ship to the UK!) online stationery & card company, contacted me to see if I had anything planned for my next milestone birthday, I thought this would be a great opportunity to show you my thoughts and show off their beautiful products too!

Of course my 30th Birthday would have to be a bigger and better version of what is turning out to be my annual Cocktails & Cupcakes night, I took some time to browse through Paperless Post website, its so easy to search for what you are after and when I found their Kate Spade range, I had no doubt I would find something for me! The only problem was, I couldn’t pick just one invitation card, can you help?

The venue would have to be Southend Barns, my cousin got married there last summer and it is stunning! I would have tables smothered in cakes in the main barn, with places to sit for family and friends, making sure there was ample space for a dance floor and hundreds of marshmallows available for toasting on the fires outside!

All Photo’s Have Been Taken From Southend Barns Website

Of course the most important part of the party would be what cake we would be serving, I have found some amazing recipes on line that I just had to share with you!

Bourbon Cupcakes
Pina Colada Cupcakes

Pimms Cupcakes
Champagne Cupcakes

Now, every birthday girl needs to look her best so I have done a bit of wishful shopping and found some dresses that I love that I think would be perfect!

Available From Misspap
Available From Coast
Available From Next

I do need some help from you all though, I don’t have a cocktail list! Comment below with your favourite cocktail.

Don’t forget to check out Paperless Post for all your invites and cards, I know where I will buying all my goodies from forever more!

Love

Emma xxx

Revisiting the list……..

I have been mulling this over now for a while, checking my list an trying to work out what can replace Number 20 & 21 and maybe changing some other that realistically are either too expensive or just not doable!

Here are a few idea’s:

Travel Somewhere by myself
Visit a fortune teller
Celebrate my birthday in a foreign country
Feed An Animal At The Zoo
Volunteer
Throw a massive 30th birthday party
Go to the Mall of America
Go to a make up counter and buy the right make up for me
Go on holiday with no plans – just go with the flow
Eat no meat for 1 month
Visit a castle & learn its history
Go To Disneyland, wear mouse ears and act like a big kid

There a few in that list that I could 100% do and achieve before I am 30, but actually only 5 that I probably really want to do, but there are a few things in there that would probably be an experience I would never have before!

I am going to think this over for a while and see where my decision takes me!

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