I had a bit of a meltdown a few days ago. I felt lonely, 2nd best and generally not good enough.

I cried hard to my mum on the phone, silent cried at my desk and cried at my desk with a team mate. It was a bad day and the first one for a long time.

But do you know what made me feel better? 

Coming home to Matt. 

For the first time I didnt turn to food to cure my sadness, I didnt rant on social media. I just waited for 5pm.

I have seen the quote that home is in your arms, or something like that and I never understood that until that day.

Often we take for granted our relationships and loved ones who are always there for us. I know that no matter what Matt will always be there for me. 

He is the man that I wanted when you hear all the love songs as a teenager. I have got the love I have always imagined. I have someone that I not only fancy pants off but someone who is genuinely my best friend. The person I want to tell my happy and sad stories to. 

If I have no-one else I have him. 

So for all the teens out there that hear love songs, watch the teen movies and want a love like that. 

Its yours. 

It will come to you and when it does grab it with both hands. Love hard and love honestly. 


Birthday Treat!

Matt spoilt me on my birthday with a surprise trip to Newcastle! It was lovely to get away for a few days and just eat good food, drink good cocktails and chill. We haven’t been away this year as we have been focusing on the house and putting our stamp on it, so thinking of holidaying abroad just hasn’t happened. Don’t get me wrong, we have started to look for next year with a few choices up our sleeves, but this year we knew it just wasn’t going to happen.

We headed off at 6am in the morning – yes 6am – and headed off…..Matt was driving and we had been on the motorway for about 10 mins when he said we were headed to the west country, I was quite excited and started faffing on my phone doing something when the next time I looked up we were on the M3?! Totally not the way to the west country, after quizzing him constantly for about 30 minutes, he told me we were headed north but that was all I could get out of him.

With so much excitement about going back up north after a few years with Matt, I shared a little Facebook post on my page (why not follow me there?). We stopped in a service station for McDonalds breakfast and a large Costa Coffee for me and headed back on our way, after a little while I looked on the map to see where we could be ended up and Matt eventually told me it was Newcastle!

I was really excited as we have talked about Newcastle for a while, so I was pleased we were finally going to make it there!

We had a brilliant few days up north and enjoyed exploring the city, although not much to do everyone made us feel so welcome and the shopping is INSANE!!! Here are a few snaps from our days away for you to enjoy

Where We Stayed: The Cairn Hotel, in trendy Jesmond

What We Saw: Whitley Bay, Angel Of The North, Metro Centre, Eldon Square, Black Gate, Castle Keep

Where We Ate: The Herb Garden, The Botanist, Chaophora, Blackfriars, Olive & Bean

Glorious Goodwood

Does anyone else find buying gifts for men a royal pain the backside?! I am glad its not just me! However, I thought I had found the perfect Christmas gift for Matt last year, tickets for us, his brother & parter for a day out a Glorious Goodwood! A chance for the 4 of us to get dressed up, have a few drinks, a bet and a nice evening out at the end of it and the day did not disappoint! However, I was left a bit dumbfolded when on our way to the racecourse Matt tells me he has been to Goodwood before – I thought he hadn’t been and it would be a new experience we would be sharing together – how wrong was I haha!

Anyway! We all had a fantastic day out, I like all other events didn’t take many photos, luckily my lovely sister-in-law (not legally but it might as well be!) managed to get quite a few. So here you go, here is a selection of photos that I feel represents our day.

Our Day Off

My godparents are over from Indiana visiting family and friends at the moment and usually they go to my parents and have dinner and drinks with us as a family. However, as we recently bought our own place it was decided that everyone was to come to us instead so we could show off our home! The date was decided to be mid week, so Matt and I took some time off for the rest of the week so we could just hang out together before getting ready for my parents big annual party at the weekend (more on that later)!

It wasn’t until we headed up to bed that I realised I hadn’t taken any pictures that night, which I was upset about BUT I realised that also meant I didn’t have my phone on me. I was just happy being and enjoying everyone’s company – it was actually quite refreshing! Seen as I don’t have a recent picture, here is an oldie of my borther & I with our godparents a few years ago.

Matt had told me he had planned a day out on the Thursday and that we would be out the door at 7am, so when I stirred from my sleep and turned over to have him staring at me, I was a bit confused. He said it was nearly 9am and that he hadn’t wanted to wake me so we would find something else to do. We took our time getting ready and decided to go out for breakfast and then go from there.

We headed to The Tenth Hole and made some decisions on breakfast, I went for Breakfast Bruschetta. 2 lovely poached eggs on bread that was smothered in pesto and avocado with a side of roasted vine tomato’s. It was wonderful! Matt had a full English which, had I have got the order right would have been with a side of Black Pudding – I was rubbish and forgot when ordering haha!!

Whilst we were sat eating our food we were discussing what we wanted to do for the day amongst many other things. We ended up deciding that we would go and see the final installment of Planet Of The Apes. We headed down to Gunwarf Quays and brought our tickets before going round the shops for a bit. I was on the hunt for a dress for Goodwood Races, we are going with Matt’s brother and partner beginning of August. Unfortunately I didn’t see anything I liked, so we headed back to the cinema picked up some popcorn, nachos and an ice blast for me before heading to our screening. There was just 5 of us in the massive screen, so we were a bit naughty and chose to sit in the VIP seats rather than our standard seats – sssssh! Don’t tell!

The film was really good – we have enjoyed the 2 before this one – there was a bit of action as well as some comedy chucked in for good measure with the Bad Ape! Watching the trailers beforehand, we both decided that we might try and see Dunkirk as it looked a lot better than what we thought it was going to and I think some of it was filmed locally as well.

It’s been really nice to just spend time together with no time limits on when we need to be home by or that we need to be doing something. Sometimes I think it is really easy for couples to get a bit lost when you are so busy doing other things, but just spending a little bit of time together can bring you right back to where you need to be. Heck, we have been together 8 years next month, we must be doing something right somewhere!

Keep Smiling

Emma xx


6 Years Later

I can’t believe 6 years ago today, actually when this goes live, I first met Matt.

I wont lie the last 6 years have had their ups and downs, we have made some truly amazing memories that we will share forever more. Unfortunately, with the way our schedules are this year we won’t be seeing each other on our anniversary, but that’s ok. I thought I would share with you some photo’s from over the last 6 years…….

Plot Twist!!!

When I first started writing this post, I thought my whole life was changing and it is but not as badly as I first thought! Initially just over a week ago told me he is going to be working away almost 5hrs away up north and that he would probably be home once a month, but wanted me to come up there or us meet in the middle.

When i found out, I was devastated, I felt like our relationship was on its way to the end and that I was going to lose the most important person in my life!

However, as always things do change and his boss has managed to find them work close to London, so now instead of not seeing him at all, I will get my weekends back with him & he will become a “weekend warrior”! This will only be potentially until Christmas, then he will be working in the west country, but still able to come home at weekends. So things aren’t as bad as they first imagined!

I am a massively independent person and enjoy my own company, so this time during the week I will have I am going to try and spend more time with my girlfriends. I am also going to use the times that I am seeing Matt as goals to hit a milestone in weight loss/dropping a dress size. I want to use the time constructively in the gym and focus 100% on dieting properly and focusing, Matt &I will tend to eat out quite a bit, but this will mean I get to save money as well.

I am fully aware that we aren’t the first couple to work like this and I am pretty sure we wont be the last, so I am gonna suck it up and deal with our change in circumstances the best I can! However, those of you that get to spend every night with your significant other or get to see them more than 2 days a week – don’t take it for granted, because you never know, once day it might all get taken out from under you!


Out Of My Comfort Zone!

So a few weeks ago Matt told me that he had booked for us to go to Go Ape on Easter Sunday, I was quite apprehensive at first not because of the heights involved but because of my weight and how lumpy I would look in a harness and how much the zip wire would dip when I went down there! Matt reassured me and said I would be fine, my friend and fellow blogger Heather also said I would have a great time and that there was nothing to worry about…..

When we woke up Easter Sunday the rain was just pouring out the sky and my first thought was

I’m going to get soaked!

I have no waterproof jacket so had to borrow my brothers and borrowed one of his old hoodies too as there was no way I was going to get a Victorias Secret Hoodie ruined!


We headed off to the forest and the rain slowly started to ease up – headed off to the cabin and was told we were a bit early and to talk a walk around….as we did a massive clap of thunder and bolt of lightening struck and we were told that they were closing for 1/2hr to see if anything came off the storm. We headed over to the cafe and had a hot chocolate and some cake. Luckily the storm didn’t develop and we were able to get going!


We got our harnesses on and I have to say it was quite uncomfortable but I persevered and went through the training they give you. We then headed off on our to start our crazy tree top adventure!

I have to say that whilst I really enjoyed myself I really had to fight to find some inner strength to get through some parts! The worst bit for me was the cargo nets – you have to literally jump from a high platform into a net and climb up the net onto another platform! Now I was still achey from pole dancing and I have realised I have NO upper body strength at all to pull myself up!




One of my favourite bits was the zip wire, all my worries banished away when I realised the line wouldn’t dip & when we had finished I wanted to go back just to do the zip wire – even if jumping off the ledge is the scariest thing in the world!

Overall I really enjoyed my experience of go ape & would definately do it again!