Jump

Well its booked!

I am (weather permitting) jumping out of a plane on Monday 27th August! 3 days before my 30th Birthday what a great way to kick off the celebrations for my birthday, I honestly couldn’t of thought of anything better.

Am I nervous? Yes

Am I excited? Yes

I honestly cant wait and what makes it even better than some family and friends have decided to join me too and I am so honored that they would want to join me (well watch me). I always feel humbled when people make the choice to spend their time with me, I guess that is my lacking in confidence that causes that. Always shocked that people want to experience things with me – I dont know why, but hey I guess it makes me appreciate them all a little more!

Talking of my 30th Birthday, I have even arranged a meal with mine and Matt’s parents on my actual Birthday. We are going to Koh Thai Tapas in Southsea, its a gorgeous Thai restaurant and I adore the food not to mention the cocktails!

But I would love to do something with my friends as well, but what to do is where I am stumped.

Do I go for an evening of drinks and nibbles with some of our closest friends OR a girls day out in Brighton? 

I really dont know what to do, I still have a little while to choose as I would like to give people time to make sure they are free and arrange sitters, save up some money etc. So I figure I will decide by March I kinda want to do both, but that’s really greedy! I need to think about what I will enjoy the most and that if I do one and not the other that I wouldn’t have any regrets.

I am sure I will figure it out and I will arrange something or perhaps someone could do it for me haha!

Love

Emma xx

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Goals For 2018

Mid-December I found myself wanting to set myself some goals to achieve in 2018, not resolutions but things that I want to do to better myself, physically and mentally.

Whilst a lot of people will make resolutions, a lot will also not keep them and fail. I have never really set a resolution, not really, perhaps half-heartedly when I was younger and often said I want to lose weight or save more but like many I have never really kept to it.

However I want 2018 to be better, it’s the year I turn 30. I want to enjoy this year and I want to do things for me and to stop this horrible trait I seem to have picked up of putting others first and forgetting about me. I need to heed my own advice and do more things for me and learn to speak up and say that I am not happy or that I have been hurt.

So I have thought long and hard about the things I want to achieve in 2018 and thought I would share these with you and perhaps inspire you!

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Do More Writing. I love writing and always have done, its part of the reason why I blog. It keeps my mind focused and is a source of release for me. I have always been more creative that intellectual, always into music or reading (not so much art!) and I loved deciphering poetry at school as well. Over the past couple of years I have dabbled in story writing, just little chapters here and there when I have ideas, an avid daydreamer it’s a lovely way to bring stories to life. I would love to one day have something published, I am a long way from that, I am not where near being publish ready, but I want to write more, I want to get my stories out there, I want people to read more. So, my commitment to myself this year is to write. That might be blogs or stories but either way it’s about time that I started to do more of what I enjoy.

Read More. This really goes hand in hand with writing, I find the more I read the more inspired I am, it opens up my imagination and I drift off into another world. There is nothing I love more than to immerse myself into a good book, but I don’t give myself enough of a chance to do it. I am constantly checking my phone for social media updates or reading fake news, it doesn’t make my brain work and it doesn’t inspire my imagination. It’s easy and boring. So this year, I want to read more, I want to lose myself in worlds that talented authors have created, so send me your recommendations!

Be More Proactive. Last year I found myself waiting to be contacted by friends to meet up, not wanting to bother them in their busy lives to see if they have time for me. Then I would get upset if I hadn’t seen people for a long time or worse, I often got upset when I got let down at the last minute as I felt it was me that people didn’t want to see. However, I am starting to ignore the negative feelings that my brain keeps coming up with and remind myself that I am enough and if people don’t want to spend time with me then that is their loss. Although I am not an innocent party in this, as I mentioned above I don’t put myself out there as much as I could, so this year I am going to try to be more proactive put myself out there and arrange more things with my friends. Yes, it may mean I need to take some knock backs but with every knock back you just need to build yourself up stronger. So friends – be aware, I am coming for you!

Stay Healthy. I did a lot of work on myself in 2017 to kick start being healthier, I went back on Metformin to help with my PCOS and I started Slimming World to keep track of my weight. I am really pleased to say that I started 2018 lighter than my first weigh in back in June. I have lost weight, not enough that you would notice, but there has been a decent amount lost. However, my aim is not to lose weight, its to be healthy. So this year, I am going to try to be more active, I am not joining a gym or committing to exercising. However I might take a lunchtime stroll a few times a week, wear my fit bit more so I am aware of activity levels, keep going to slimming world, and drink more water. Those are all the bog standard things you can do, however I want to take care of my mental health too. I am not someone, to my knowledge, who suffers with depression however I have had panic attacks in the past. I just want to make sure that I am happy in my life and to do that sometimes you have to check out mentally. So I am going to take breaks from social media throughout the year, I am going to stop taking my phone to bed and buy an alarm clock, write thank you cards and finally recognize things that I am grateful for.

What are your goals for 2018?

Love

Emma xxx

Memories

Whilst updating my Dropbox the other day, I found some pictures that I had forgotten about and thought it would be a nice idea to share with you some of my favourite pictures of 2017!

 

Dillon

On 17th December Matts brothers dog had puppies! 6 beautiful brindle pups, they are we’re so tiny and cute and I couldn’t wait to meet them.

Although I would love this post to be about our new puppy…..it isnt…..and we dont have one…..

On 17th December a little boy decided to make his big entrance into the world, 4 weeks & 1 day early. My amazing cousin gave birth to her first born, Dillon Anthony. He was a tiny 4lb 10.5oz but just perfect! I was out for a yummy afternoon tea when I found out and I found myself overcome with emotion & Hayley was there to capture that moment!

Trina & Dillon weren’t allowed home from hospital until Christmas Day, what a perfect present! I have been eager to meet Dillon since the day he was born, but knowing he is early and Nick & Trina are first time parents it only felt right to give them their space. It didn’t help that Matt & I have both been a bit under weather so have stayed away so we don’t share any germs!

However, I finally got to meet my gorgeous new baby cousin earlier this week! Matt despite how much he wanted to, due to work he couldn’t go. He is just so little, but absolutely gorgeous and my cousin is just a natural. 

Whilst I have been sent lots of pictures since he was born and I took some snaps too, I want to give them the oppertunity as first time parents to do all the sharing as and when they want to. 

So for now, here is the only picture I will share as Dillons favourite big cousin

30

I am 30 next year…….9 months away……30.

We have so much going on next year, driveways, decorating & weddings that I am not even sure that we will get to do the trip we had hoped to do for my 30th. Yes its disappointing. But we have a lot of plans and money isn’t never ending and we just have to save.

However. I am 30 next year. 

Over the past few years I have had a fear of my birthday. Peoples priorities are different, so gone are the days where you would have a giant sleepover with your girlfriends or a massive party in the garden. Its scaled back and shared with a select few. However 30 is pretty big. I feel like it needs to be celebrated. But like always I am putting everyone’s needs and lives in front of my own wants.

Thinking they wont be able to do that because of the kids, or those people wont be able to afford that, or no-one will want to do that.

I need to heed my own advice. The people that really want to celebrate will do all they can to be there. 

That in its self worries me. Will it end up just me and Matt? When did I start feeling so insecure that no-one wants to spend time with me? Where has this come from?

I need to stop this. I need to have a bit more confidence. 

So I thought I would share my ideas with you and see what you think!

  • Big Boozy Brunch at our pad an open house with champers, bucks fizz and a selection of yummy brunch pastries
  • Dinner out at my “favourite” restaurant, I dont really have a favourite – or should I say one everyone can afford/attend
  • Rent A Party House a long weekend with select friends……
  • HOLIDAY just Matt & I on the beach drinking cocktails and eating lots of yummy food

There is just a few idea’s, none of which I am tied to or particularly loving, but I feel I need to do something for my 30th!

What did you do?

Parties

Wow, can you believe I went to 2 Christmas parties at the weekend and its not even December! It has kick started the festive season off nicely as I now have at least 1 Christmas event each week in the lead up to the big day and I cannot wait!

With that said, this weekends events all revolved around work. Spending time with old friends and celebrating with the current teams! It was great to let my hair down after a busy year and just enjoy getting dressed up, eating food and drinking plenty!

Anyway I wanted to share some pictures with you from my Friday night. Some of you will know that my boss of almost 9 years left the company in April. She grew to be more than just a boss and I am confident that my fellow work buddies and I have missed having her around daily on more than 5 occasions since she left. A month or so ago, we were struggling with various different things and decided that a girls night at Sue’s was just what we needed. So the date was set and we all ended our Friday at work excited for all the food and drink that would be consumed! It was so nice to be around each other again and just enjoy each others company. I haven’t managed to see Sue as much as I would have liked to since April, but she is still an important part of who I have become.

Thank You Sue for a wonderful night!

Friendships

A couple of months ago, for those of you that follow my story will know that I attended my 3rd Liberty Shoot (you can read about it here) and loved every second of it.

I didn’t know anyone, so was forced to make conversation with other women and naturally provide support and encouragement, its just what happens on a shoot, you realise that as women we are there to help, guide and nurture each other not tear each other down.

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Anyway, all of the ladies that I met that day were battling their own demons and I can honestly say they all inspired me in their own way. However, I never expected to see or talk to them again, unless it was another shoot.

I posted my pics in our group and spoke about how much I loved them and what I got from the experience on the beach. I was really shocked to then see a friend request come through on Facebook from Charlotte, one of the ladies I had met that day. We exchanged messages for a while, before we decided we were going to meet up, dates changed due to other things going on but we eventually met up earlier in the week.

I was incredibly nervous the whole day, when you meet someone new and form a friendship as an adult its usually through mutual friends or you become friends through work or children etc. its not often that you meet someone randomly and then arrange to meet for a drink.

On the way I was giving myself a bit of a prep talk, not to be boring, remember to ask questions, not talk about myself too much and listen. Be an active listener.

I really didn’t need to worry, we got on really well, chatted for hours and it was just really natural. It didn’t feel forced and I had a really nice evening and came away feeling like I had made a new friend.

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We all go through seasons of our life where friendships change and it can be really easy to feel like you are alone and have no-one around you. However, I promise that if you just take a step back and look around, there will be people around you that are reaching out to you but you just cant see it because your chasing after a friend that isn’t being there for you.

I am not the most outgoing person and I definitely dont like to be the centre of attention and would prefer to be the care giver, the person that people come to with their problems rather than burden them with mine.

BUT I have learnt more recently that, those behaviours aren’t healthy and that isn’t allowing me to get fulfillment from my friendships. I need people to be there for me too, but I dont allow that. So I am actively trying to change that and whilst it may be difficult for me to open up, I know that it will be ok and I will feel happier.

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I guess what I am trying to say is, yes its weird making new friends as adults, but people come into our lives for a reason. I am not sure what the reason is that Charlotte & I have crossed paths and often you never find out, but I am looking forward to a new friendship and all the fun times that brings!

Emma xxx