DON’T PANIC…..I Repeat DON’T PANIC! Matt & I have not fallen out of love…..this blog isn’t about us!
A couple of years ago I made the decision to move to blogger and continue my blogging days on that platform. However no matter how much I tried I just didn’t like the look of it, I couldn’t upload posts via the app and I had to use a 2nd platform to share on social media. Although I would tell people my creative juices weren’t flowing and I slowly stopped writing. Looking back it was because I just didn’t like what I was producing and hadn’t fallen in love with the end project.
A couple of weeks ago a close friend of mine was searching for my posts on San Francisco and I had to make them public again on this blog. I found myself looking at the blog visually and getting lost reading old posts and it hit me. I wanted to write again, but I wanted to write HERE.
So, my past few weeks have been spent transferring posts from blogger to here and giving this a bit of a refresher. I loved my old template, but I have fallen in love with this new one and I just feel that its more me. For so long I have felt influenced by the blogging/vlogging world and trying to catch up. It has caused me alot of upset and anxiety when I have felt left behind or ungrateful for the amazing things that I have. Hindsight is a wonderful thing and looking back I shouldn’t have moved, I should have stayed put HERE, where I feel safe expressing myself and actually like the end product of what I am producing.
Its mad to think that just the right look and platform can inspire a person so much. My mind has been buzzing over the past few days and I have so many ideas of what i want to share with you. Now that I am feeling happier with my writing space and don’t care (ok I do still a little bit and I am working on it) about keeping up with the jones’, I know that my writing is going to go from strength to strength and I just hope that you will continue to read my story.
However, in the mean time, take a look around read through the 200+ posts i have written since 2013 and let me know what you like reading! For those of you that have only been reading since August 2015 – take trip back to earlier posts – there is a lot fun stuff that you missed out on.
But for now, this blogger is back and happier than ever!
On any day of the week, scrolling through any social media feed you will find friends, family, bloggers, vloggers, celebrities and just your general everyday folk claiming just how wonderful their lives are and how “lucky” they are to be going on an expensive trip or having purchased a new luxury fashion item or how much weight they have lost the list is endless. All the time you are scrolling, if you are anything like me you will be sat there thinking “why can’t I have that?” and questioning why your life is so boring and dull.
BUT in reality we are only seeing what they want you see. You
never rarely see people posting genuinely about their lives, all the ups and downs. Social media is full of fake lives and its about time that I remember this and stop comparing my normal life to those who only show us the parts they want us to see.
Don’t get me wrong, I have posted things before that may make my life seem to be more perfect than it is and my facebook memories are constant reminder of how much I used to post my whole life for the world to see. Why do we do that? Why do we think that everyone wants to see every part of our life? Because we are all nosey buggers? Ha! Yes we are, but would we miss it if people didn’t share everything? No, probably not.
Today, whilst writing this, I removed my twitter app from my phone. Following bloggers really wasn’t helping my self esteem and I have found it has made me really unappreciative of my life that I have spent so long building with Matt. I am going to be keeping my Instagram, mainly becuase I only following friends, family and companies that I use and I will stick around on Facebook too for the same reasons.
If I keep comparing my “normal”life to their fake lives then I will never appreciate what I have. I have great friends, great family, an awesome boyfriend and after many years of waiting MY OWN HOUSE. That for me, is a massive thing I have wanted for a long time so sod the fakers, I am excited about my new adventure and new chapter in my life!
If I can ask anything of you all. Screw the fakers. Remember that if you stay at home in your PJs all weekend eating cake and drinking prosecco it’s ok!
Dimples & Daisies announce on their Instagram and Facebook a grand 4th July sale with fantastic offers, disappointed that there was no Liberty Shoots on offer, I messaged the girls on their Instagram page to find out if they will release any more offers including Liberty Shoot and they replied pretty quick asking me to keep an eye on their Facebook site for an offer later that day…..
9pm that evening…..I have sent a text to Jemma asking if she is interested in the offer on the River shoot – Buy One Get One FREE!!!! BARGAIN! She replies saying she is in – I transferred the money and Voila! We are booked in for the River Shoot! With Hayley having stunning photo’s like this come back from her shoot, I cant wait for mine!
|Love This One! So Natural!
Over dinner at our local Harvester, we have a chat about how much my excitement is reaching crazy stupid heights and Matt decides to tell me that he has booked a surprise for my Birthday on the date of my River Shoot! To say I was cross but excited about a surprise was a bit of an understatement.
I messaged the girls and they worked some magic and managed to switch us onto another shoot, so we are still full steam ahead for our September River Shoot!
Visiting the Sky Garden in London, I can’t help but practice my posing – Yes! I am a poser and YES I love it!
Jemma and I head to our local shopping centre one night after work and hit the sale rails in New Look and manage to get some lovely pieces for the shoot, whilst shopping we pick out bits for each other and we spent time laughing about how all the 90’s fashion is coming back in – dresses over t-shirts?! what is that about! It was so nice to shop with Jemma, its been a long time BUT it just added to whole experience!
The day of the shoot, I was excited and nervous and didn’t expect to cry or feel the way I did. I naughtily couldnt hold off writing about my experience of my shoot and some of you may have already read all about it, but check out my post here to see how it effected me!
With all that in mind, I honestly felt soo good about myself and so confident afterwards and even now I still have that feeling going now and I love that just getting your photo taken and being surrounded by fellow women building you up can make you feel that good!
Photo day! Things have been pretty manic for me lately (more about that in a different post) so I haven’t had chance to get nervous. As I drove myself and Jemma over to Holly’s for our viewings my tummy started to get excited and I started to get butterflies. That was until I realised I had forgotten the Pretzel Bites I had promised Holly and a wave of dread came over me that I had let her down, but don’t worry – she will get her stash!
Jemma went first and had the absolute same reaction I did first time round and it was so nice to see her realise just how awesome she is! Holly is the 100% best person to show anyone their photos, she is so positive and has such a good eye and makes you see things about yourself that you cant see.
I have read a lot on the Facebook page that Jen’s style has changed over the last year and I LOVE my corn shoots, so I was a bit concerned what if I didn’t like these ones, but I really did not need to be concerned. They were ALL amazing, but due to body hang ups of my own or not wanting to come away with ones that looked similar I walked away with 10 photos and apart from 2 (due to hating my fat cellulite covered thighs) I love every single one and CANNOT wait to share some of them with you……
If you are in the Hampshire area and looking to do something for yourself OR want to give your partner a way to boost her confidence and let her see what you see in her, contact the girls. I am sooo pleased Hayley got me in touch with them over a year ago, I can’t ever imagine wanting anyone else to take my photo’s now and I will be a member of the Dimples & Daisies Squad forever more!
I wanted to wait and post about my shoot once I had the photos back and tell you all about how I felt in the lead up and on the day, but today my writing wall was knocked down and I feel that I want to share with you all.
Today my beautiful friend Jemma and I had our River Shoot with Dimples & Daisies
, I have been really excited and looking forward to this ever since I booked it. For me it’s all about encouraging my body confidence and feeling good about myself. I have often read on the Facebook page about people being emotional during their shoot and felt disheartened that it didn’t happen to me on my corn shoot, but looking back I was so nervous and reserved I wasn’t really me.
I am not sure what come over me today, but when I was sat in Charlie’s boot getting my make-up done and she asked me a simple question of what don’t I like about me, I replied with my honest answer of my chin/neck. It was a bit red from waxing my “beard” on Sunday so I asked if she could try to do something with that and we got to talking about PCOS. I hope Charlie won’t mind when I share that she told me she also suffers with PCOS, so we shared stories and for some reason I could feel myself welling up. When Charlie was talking to us all a few moments earlier, she made a comment that really stuck with me about how we can talk to our friends and tell them how we feel but sometimes due to how busy their own lives are they don’t really listen and everyone does the same. Recently I have been feeling a bit like that and almost like I have lost my voice. I haven’t, I just don’t know how to be the friend that needs support as I am usually the one giving it. I found myself opening up to Charlie more than I have to anyone that is close to me recently about my future.
I admitted to her and myself that I am scared about moving out and buying a house with Matt, not because it is a big commitment and lots of money, I know I want to spend my life with him so that doesn’t bother me. What does bother me and more than I will care to admit is the chance that one day, he will turn around and say after a few years of trying to conceive that he doesn’t want to carry on with our relationship because I can’t give him babies and how much of a failure I would feel as a woman and as a partner. Admitting to Charlie through broken tears that him saying that is my worst fear I felt a weight off my shoulders, I realise now that I have never said that out loud, not really.
To have a hug from a stranger and be told that you are not failure and that there is light at the end of the tunnel and that others including herself have conceived even though they have PCOS made me realise that it will be ok; no matter what happens.
So I had my first emotional moment with the Dimples & Daisies
team and for some reason I entered that freezing cold river feeling like I was washing away my fears. Unknown to me I started my river journey nervous about my future and scared that 1 day I might lose everything and when I left, I still am a bit nervous, but I am more confident than I as and I know that what is meant to happen is going to happen. My body is an amazing thing that can do anything, I just need to take care of it and look after myself physically and mentally.
As great as our friends our (and I believe mine are the best), sometimes you just need a stranger to give you a hug and tell you it will be ok.
Thank You Charlie!
When I first starting blogging a few years ago, I made the decision that my blog wasn’t going to be negative it was going to be a positive thing in my life and to this day it pretty much has been. There have been some posts that haven’t always been happy or screamed positivity but hey – that’s life! I really like to try and put my positive attitude on others and I often get frustrated when all I see on my news feed when I am browsing Twitter or Facebook and people are being so negative or constantly moaning, there is just no need for it – just because you are miserable you don’t need to force it on others – but I guess people would say the same about leading a positive life!
Our lovely friends Hayley and Lee brought me some really thoughtful gifts at Christmas that I wanted to share with you. Not only will they encourage my positive mind, but when I am feeling sad it will remind me of all the good things in my life. I also love that from what I can gather the gifts are from independent businesses, which is great I love the whole shop local and that is what I am planning to do as much as I can. So anyway onto the gifts!
Buttonsy Box Of Happy
I was really unsure when I opened this gift, I didn’t get it and in the excitement of Christmas I kind of put it to one side it wasn’t until late Christmas Day night that I had a proper look, the first card reads
I shuffled my cards (I say shuffle….I’m not very good at card shuffling) and have put them back in the box and decided that every Wednesday morning I will open up my box and see what happiness I can share with the world that week. I will post on Instagram every Wednesday what the card of the week is so that you can follow along with me as well!
Lucys World – Happy Box
I will admit, this gift as soon as I opened it I was so excited and instantly wondered what the first thing I would put in there would be.
I have seen this all over Pinterest where people will write happy thoughts and put them in a kilner jar to read on a crappy day, I have always liked the idea and wanted to do it, but just never got round to it! So the fact that I got this gift is perfect & I have already put in my first happy memory and I can’t wait to add hundreds more!
I pledge you all to make 2016 your happiest yet, don’t be a Negative Nancy, it wont make you feel better. Focus on the happy influences you have around you and let them be your guide through the year.
With the recent events in Paris unraveling I can’t help but feel that the world is slowly bit surely going crazy. For months now I have said to people, probably naively that I don’t watch the news as it’s far too depressing but I have been reading the news, especially this weekend. Now, I am not going to air my political views and have a rant about ISIS or immigration, but I do feel compelled to talk to you about I and possibly hundreds of you are also feeling.
I love to travel and to fly learning about and exploring new cities and cultures. Soon I am due to fly again, I will admit it, I am anxious not to the point that I am panicking or getting myself at it, but I am worried. I am not one to look at things negatively but what if there is a problem and I can’t get home? Or worst case scenario I don’t come home?!
Yes it’s awful to think and in the past I have always been one to say ‘if it happens it happens’ or ‘it’s always safer to fly after an event like this’ and I keep telling myself that even now. Truth is, if we stay in and don’t go anywhere or do anything they have won. So we need to go about our lives as normally as we can, don’t be afraid to go out and enjoy life.
As crazy as it seems writing this has helped me to get over my nerves and actually look forward to my holiday.
Sending all my love to those effected by the atrocious events over the weekend.
I am 27, I have been with my partner for almost 6 1/2 years and we both still live with our retrospective parents. We enjoy holidays abroad and spoiling our nieces and newborn nephew, if we see something we like we will buy it and if cant afford it we will save for it. We are enjoying being in our 20’s with limited responsibilities, carving out a career for ourselves so that we have some stability for our future.
How many others are doing the same? Put your hands up!
Ok so that is more of you than I thought, out of everyone with their hands up get the following questions asked to you at family events or by friends?
- So when are you two going to settle down?
- Have you started house hunting yet?
- Don’t you think its about time you got engaged?
- Have you thought about babies?
- What is your 5 year plan?
- You need to stop going on holidays or you will never move out
- You wont be able to afford all the things you do when you settle down
OR my ultimate favourite
- Well if your not living together or engaged by now it can’t be that serious
Ok, so that’s still a lot of hands up, I am glad I am not the only one. Now I am by no means perfect, I have asked those questions to friends and family members but not every time I see them. Any friends I have that aren’t engaged or haven’t moved out I am confident they will tell me when that big milestone in their life comes and likewise I would 100% share that information with my friends and family when I have that information to share!
For those of you that want to know here are the answers to the questions that we so often get asked that Matt will often walk away and just leave me to deal with it on my own!
- So when are you two going to settle down? we are very settled down, we have a comfortable life together and have a plan in place to “settle down” in societies eyes.
- Have you started house hunting yet? afraid not! we refuse to rent or join in a government scheme where you have to pay back a loan and your mortgage, we are old school so we are saving our arses off!
- Don’t you think its about time you got engaged? maybe, but that will happen when the time is right for us.
- Have you thought about babies? not really – where would it live? plus with my PCOS our baby journey may take longer and be harder than others. So this question is probably never a good topic to start with.
- What is your 5 year plan? shock horror, we don’t have one & if we did its our plan and if it involves you or needs your input we will share it.
- You need to stop going on holidays or you will never move out yeah, we probably do. However if we can afford to treat ourselves to a holiday and save for a mortgage at the same time then why not?
- You wont be able to afford all the things you do when you settle down really?? I thought there was an endless pot of money available! We are realistic, we know that and that’s fine, but thanks for the heads up.
- Well if your not living together or engaged by now it can’t be that serious why aren’t we?
With almost 6 1/2 years under our belt we have lasted longer than some people. I have known people including celebrities who have met, married, had babies and divorced in a shorter time than we have been together. We both come from families that are still together, we have an unspoken agreement that if it isn’t working or we aren’t happy that we will talk about it and work it out together.
Whilst this may seem like a rant post, it isn’t. I love that so many of our family and friends are so interested in our life and want to see us “settle down” and start a family etc, but STOP. Unbeknownst to you guys, its pressure that we don’t need. We are working hard to move out right now and when we have exciting news to share with you then we will 100% share it with you and ask you to join us to get excited for our next milestone. But for now, we are going on holiday in January and we can’t wait to get some winter sun!