Falling Back In Love

DON’T PANIC…..I Repeat DON’T PANIC! Matt & I have not fallen out of love…..this blog isn’t about us!

A couple of years ago I made the decision to move to blogger and continue my blogging days on that platform. However no matter how much I tried I just didn’t like the look of it, I couldn’t upload posts via the app and I had to use a 2nd platform to share on social media. Although I would tell people my creative juices weren’t flowing and I slowly stopped writing. Looking back it was because I just didn’t like what I was producing and hadn’t fallen in love with the end project.

A couple of weeks ago a close friend of mine was searching for my posts on San Francisco and I had to make them public again on this blog. I found myself looking at the blog visually and getting lost reading old posts and it hit me. I wanted to write again, but I wanted to write HERE.

So, my past few weeks have been spent transferring posts from blogger to here and giving this a bit of a refresher. I loved my old template, but I have fallen in love with this new one and I just feel that its more me. For so long I have felt influenced by the blogging/vlogging world and trying to catch up. It has caused me alot of upset and anxiety when I have felt left behind or ungrateful for the amazing things that I have. Hindsight is a wonderful thing and looking back I shouldn’t have moved, I should have stayed put HERE, where I feel safe expressing myself and actually like the end product of what I am producing.

Its mad to think that just the right look and platform can inspire a person so much. My mind has been buzzing over the past few days and I have so many ideas of what i want to share with you. Now that I am feeling happier with my writing space and don’t care (ok I do still a little bit and I am working on it) about keeping up with the jones’, I know that my writing is going to go from strength to strength and I just hope that you will continue to read my story.

However, in the mean time, take a look around read through the 200+ posts i have written since 2013 and let me know what you like reading! For those of you that have only been reading since August 2015 – take trip back to earlier posts – there is a lot fun stuff that you missed out on.

But for now, this blogger is back and happier than ever!



Building A Healthier Me

Some of you may remember last year I made the decision to have “month off March” to help raise money for Cancer Research UK. I abstained from all chocolate, sweets and cake for the whole of March. It was difficult initially, but towards the end of the month I had gotten used to not having sweet treats and found it pretty easy.

Since Matt & I have moved in I personally feel that my eating habits have improved, I am eating proper meals at dinner time and consistently having breakfast each day. I am regularly attending the gym and sleeping better. However, I would say that treats are slipping in more often than they were before and I am probably having more “naughty” days than I would care to admit!

There are lots of ways that I could combat this through dieting, but as soon as I put myself on a diet I want to come straight back off. So I have decided that I will challenge myself for 2 months and abstain from “naughty” treats and commit to becoming a healthier version of myself.

When is this happening? From 20th February to 28th April, around 2 months.

What are treats are you avoiding? I am going to abstain from the following “naughty” treats:

  • Chocolate (inc spread)
  • Sweets
  • Cakes
  • Pastries
  • Crisps
  • Alcohol
  • Biscuits

What about social events? I have 2 weddings during this time frame and I will allow myself 1 drink on each occasion to toast the happy couple and give Matt my share of the cake haha! I will be strong with other social events which may expose me to any of my foods I want to avoid and hope that my friends understand my choices.

What are you doing to commit to being healthier? I am going to commit to attending the gym or doing at least 30 minutes exercise 5 times a week. I increased my steps on my fit bit to 7,000 a couple of weeks ago and by the end of this time frame I would like to be achieving 10,000 steps a day at least 3 times a week.

What will you snack on? I will be snacking on fruits and vegetables as well as dried fruit over the course of the time frame set out. I often find that I eat because I am bored, so ensuring I stick to drinking my required amount by making use of my HydrateM8 bottle will keep me on track.

Are you doing this just to lose weight? Not necessarily, yes I am likely to lose a few pounds but I want to kick start healthier eating habits and gradually build treats back in to my eating pattern in moderation and perhaps using healthier alternatives. I am really invested in keeping my PCOS under control and if I can maintain a suitable diet and exercise plan then I am likely to be able to reduce my symptoms.

Are you doing this for charity this time? Not this time round as this is more to challenge myself than to do something to raise money for charity. That said I will never say no to fundraising, so if you like
what I am doing and want to gift money to your favoured charity because of my actions then please feel free!

Will you post updates? Sure, I am sure over the course of the next few weeks I will post regular updates on my Facebook page. I would love for you to keep up with my progress – just hit the like button on my page!

The British Heart Foundation really promote Month Off March and for anyone that is looking to give themselves a detox for a month or challenge themselves I would really suggest it. Month Off doesn’t have to be from food or alcohol, it could even be from social media! Imagine that a whole month where you aren’t checking your accounts every day 10 times a day!

Whatever you plan on doing, whether its just eating my share of the chocolate do it well and most importantly enjoy it!



It’s Ok To Be Normal

On any day of the week, scrolling through any social media feed you will find friends, family, bloggers, vloggers, celebrities and just your general everyday folk claiming just how wonderful their lives are and how “lucky” they are to be going on an expensive trip or having purchased a new luxury fashion item or how much weight they have lost the list is endless. All the time you are scrolling, if you are anything like me you will be sat there thinking “why can’t I have that?” and questioning why your life is so boring and dull.

BUT in reality we are only seeing what they want you see. You never rarely see people posting genuinely about their lives, all the ups and downs. Social media is full of fake lives and its about time that I remember this and stop comparing my normal life to those who only show us the parts they want us to see.

Don’t get me wrong, I have posted things before that may make my life seem to be more perfect than it is and my facebook memories are constant reminder of how much I used to post my whole life for the world to see. Why do we do that? Why do we think that everyone wants to see every part of our life? Because we are all nosey buggers? Ha! Yes we are, but would we miss it if people didn’t share everything? No, probably not.

Today, whilst writing this, I removed my twitter app from my phone. Following bloggers really wasn’t helping my self esteem and I have found it has made me really unappreciative of my life that I have spent so long building with Matt. I am going to be keeping my Instagram, mainly becuase I only following friends, family and companies that I use and I will stick around on Facebook too for the same reasons.

If I keep comparing my “normal”life to their fake lives then I will never appreciate what I have. I have great friends, great family, an awesome boyfriend and after many years of waiting MY OWN HOUSE. That for me, is a massive thing I have wanted for a long time so sod the fakers, I am excited about my new adventure and new chapter in my life!

If I can ask anything of you all. Screw the fakers. Remember that if you stay at home in your PJs all weekend eating cake and drinking prosecco it’s ok!


Emma xx

The River

4th July

Dimples & Daisies announce on their Instagram and Facebook a grand 4th July sale with fantastic offers, disappointed that there was no Liberty Shoots on offer, I messaged the girls on their Instagram page to find out if they will release any more offers including Liberty Shoot and they replied pretty quick asking me to keep an eye on their Facebook site for an offer later that day…..

9pm that evening…..I have sent a text to Jemma asking if she is interested in the offer on the River shoot – Buy One Get One FREE!!!! BARGAIN! She replies saying she is in – I transferred the money and Voila! We are booked in for the River Shoot! With Hayley having stunning photo’s like this come back from her shoot, I cant wait for mine!

How Pretty! 

Love This One! So Natural!

8th July

Over dinner at our local Harvester, we have a chat about how much my excitement is reaching crazy stupid heights and Matt decides to tell me that he has booked a surprise for my Birthday on the date of my River Shoot! To say I was cross but excited about a surprise was a bit of an understatement.
I messaged the girls and they worked some magic and managed to switch us onto another shoot, so we are still full steam ahead for our September River Shoot!

24th July

Visiting the Sky Garden in London, I can’t help but practice my posing – Yes! I am a poser and YES I love it!

Early September

Jemma and I head to our local shopping centre one night after work and hit the sale rails in New Look and manage to get some lovely pieces for the shoot, whilst shopping we pick out bits for each other and we spent time laughing about how all the 90’s fashion is coming back in – dresses over t-shirts?! what is that about! It was so nice to shop with Jemma, its been a long time BUT it just added to whole experience!

27th September

The day of the shoot, I was excited and nervous and didn’t expect to cry or feel the way I did. I naughtily couldnt hold off writing about my experience of my shoot and some of you may have already read all about it, but check out my post here to see how it effected me!

With all that in mind, I honestly felt soo good about myself and so confident afterwards and even now I still have that feeling going now and I love that just getting your photo taken and being surrounded by fellow women building you up can make you feel that good!

12th October

Photo day! Things have been pretty manic for me lately (more about that in a different post) so I haven’t had chance to get nervous. As I drove myself and Jemma over to Holly’s for our viewings my tummy started to get excited and I started to get butterflies. That was until I realised I had forgotten the Pretzel Bites I had promised Holly and a wave of dread came over me that I had let her down, but don’t worry – she will get her stash!

Jemma went first and had the absolute same reaction I did first time round and it was so nice to see her realise just how awesome she is! Holly is the 100% best person to show anyone their photos, she is so positive and has such a good eye and makes you see things about yourself that you cant see.

I have read a lot on the Facebook page that Jen’s style has changed over the last year and I LOVE my corn shoots, so I was a bit concerned what if I didn’t like these ones, but I really did not need to be concerned. They were ALL amazing, but due to body hang ups of my own or not wanting to come away with ones that looked similar I walked away with 10 photos and apart from 2 (due to hating my fat cellulite covered thighs) I love every single one and CANNOT wait to share some of them with you……

If you are in the Hampshire area and looking to do something for yourself OR want to give your partner a way to boost her confidence and let her see what you see in her, contact the girls. I am sooo pleased Hayley got me in touch with them over a year ago, I can’t ever imagine wanting anyone else to take my photo’s now and I will be a member of the Dimples & Daisies Squad forever more!


Emma xxx

Kindness Of A Stranger

I wanted to wait and post about my shoot once I had the photos back and tell you all about how I felt in the lead up and on the day, but today my writing wall was knocked down and I feel that I want to share with you all.
Today my beautiful friend Jemma and I had our River Shoot with Dimples & Daisies, I have been really excited and looking forward to this ever since I booked it. For me it’s all about encouraging my body confidence and feeling good about myself. I have often read on the Facebook page about people being emotional during their shoot and felt disheartened that it didn’t happen to me on my corn shoot, but looking back I was so nervous and reserved I wasn’t really me.
I am not sure what come over me today, but when I was sat in Charlie’s boot getting my make-up done and she asked me a simple question of what don’t I like about me, I replied with my honest answer of my chin/neck. It was a bit red from waxing my “beard” on Sunday so I asked if she could try to do something with that and we got to talking about PCOS. I hope Charlie won’t mind when I share that she told me she also suffers with PCOS, so we shared stories and for some reason I could feel myself welling up. When Charlie was talking to us all a few moments earlier, she made a comment that really stuck with me about how we can talk to our friends and tell them how we feel but sometimes due to how busy their own lives are they don’t really listen and everyone does the same. Recently I have been feeling a bit like that and almost like I have lost my voice. I haven’t, I just don’t know how to be the friend that needs support as I am usually the one giving it. I found myself opening up to Charlie more than I have to anyone that is close to me recently about my future.
I admitted to her and myself that I am scared about moving out and buying a house with Matt, not because it is a big commitment and lots of money, I know I want to spend my life with him so that doesn’t bother me. What does bother me and more than I will care to admit is the chance that one day, he will turn around and say after a few years of trying to conceive that he doesn’t want to carry on with our relationship because I can’t give him babies and how much of a failure I would feel as a woman and as a partner. Admitting to Charlie through broken tears that him saying that is my worst fear I felt a weight off my shoulders, I realise now that I have never said that out loud, not really. 
To have a hug from a stranger and be told that you are not failure and that there is light at the end of the tunnel and that others including herself have conceived even though they have PCOS made me realise that it will be ok; no matter what happens.
So I had my first emotional moment with the Dimples & Daisies team and for some reason I entered that freezing cold river feeling like I was washing away my fears. Unknown to me I started my river journey nervous about my future and scared that 1 day I might lose everything and when I left, I still am a bit nervous, but I am more confident than I as and I know that what is meant to happen is going to happen. My body is an amazing thing that can do anything, I just need to take care of it and look after myself physically and mentally.
As great as our friends our (and I believe mine are the best), sometimes you just need a stranger to give you a hug and tell you it will be ok.
Thank You Charlie!


The Battle III

I am sorry this has taken a while to reach you all, I was hoping that this would be a really happy and positive post about my PCOS battle, but its been a bit tainted recently.

If we roll back to beginning of June, I visited my GP and she agreed that I could start taking Metformin to help my syptoms……after starting the gym and seeing the dietician again I was getting a bit concerned that my tablets weren’t working as they are meant to.

To cut a very long and ongoing story short, Boots had given me the incorrect medication! So after 5 weeks of taking a strong pain relief, I finally started taking Metformin last Wednesday.

I’m not going to lie, the first few days were full of nausea and feeling just generally under the weather, but as I write this I am feeling fine. I am still taking just 500mg a day, but will work up to 1000mg next week. I am not niave enough to think that just nausea is all I will suffer with especially as I up my dose BUT I know that as soon as my body is used to the medication that this will reduce.

I have to say, however, my appetite is very reduced, even in just this short time. I am struggling to finish meals and I have pretty much stopped snacking between meals too! I do wonder if this is because I have drastically upped my water intake as well?

However, one really positive thing that I have done in the past few months is get my booty back to the gym! I have been going now for about a month and I am LOVING it, I forgot how good it feels after you have worked out and how alive you feel. Yes, its hard but when you start seeing results, that is the best thing. I recently brought this top at a market, they did it just 1 size so I brought it thinking if it is a bit on the smaller side I can just wear it around the house. It is on the smaller side BUT I cant wait to start losing inches and it be loose!

Yeah, I Love Game Of Thrones!

Something & I am not sure what has registered with me recently, I’m not interested in being skinny or being a certain weight or dress size. I just want to be a healthier version of me to the point where my PCOS symptoms are reduced and at a position where I can maintain my weight & shape and live a healthy life.

I am still debating this GI Diet that I have been reading about, payday is this week and I plan on purchasing a recipe book so I cant start putting some meals together as just doing it without having recipes looks a bit confusing. As soon as I have had a play in the Kitchen (or should I say Matt has had a play in the Kitchen), I will share some of my favourites! 
So, although this time round I don’t have anything too big to share with you, I am hoping this fills in the gaps of where I am at! I am hoping come my birthday I will have started to see a bit of a reduction in my symptoms and results of being at the gym a bit more!


Emma xxx

The Battle II

Exercise and Emma aren’t 2 things you would expect to hear in the same sentence but as you know I needed to start doing something as well as dieting.

Well I don’t normally do things by half so the other Saturday with an all or nothing approach I completed in my local Park Run…..its 5K! My thoughts were to walk it with a bit of jogging…..my cousins thought was to jog it with a bit of walking.


Picture Courtesy Of Friendlyphotography

I’m not going to lie IT HURT. That day, the day after and the day after that BUT the satisfaction I got from doing it even if it took me forever and I was last, I still did it and I took it as
Me 1 PCOS 0! 
Trina (my cousin) was amazing, she stuck by my side the whole way and kept encouraging me to keep going and moving along! So when she said she would come over Wednesday for a run round the block I could hardly say no!
Wednesday was a bit overcast and I 100% felt like saying I didn’t fancy it, but I knew she would still make me go. So I put on my shorts and a t-shirt and me, Trina & Lauren  (cousin in law) set off, I was surprised at how good I felt initially and when I felt like stopping they both pushed me to one more lamp post or one more drive way and I only stopped 2 times in 1.5 miles! I’m not going to lie, I did start to feel my limit when I was almost home BUT they pushed me through it and I did it in 21 minutes!

Me 2 – PCOS 0

Today, compared to last Thursday when I had my mini meltdown I feel so much more positive and feel like I am slowly starting to win this battle.

I am STILL calorie counting Mon-Fri, I still can’t get my head into GI diet, but I will get there. I haven’t weighed myself recently and I know I’m not drinking enough. I am going to invest in a swanky water bottle from Hydrate M8 on payday to encourage my water intake.

Overall the exercise is going well, I’m enjoying it even though it’s tough. But having those encouraging you who love you make it seem a lot easier!

Emma xx