I am having trouble sleeping…..
Do you ever find that you always want more than you have got? Recently I have found myself doing this more than ever, I have had a lot of friends this year have babies, getting engaged, getting married, moving out etc and I have only really just admitted to myself that I am envious of them doing all that stuff and I’m not….
Now that’s not to say that I am not happy in my relationship or that I am not happy with where my life is right now, as I am……but sometimes it feels like I am left behind a bit…..
Mine and Matts relationship is fantastic, I truly could not ask for a better boyfriend. He literally spoils me rotten and treats me amazingly – seriously he is great, you only have to read what he got me for christmas to see that! However I have been taking that for granted and accepting all that he wants to give me and still wanting more, like my friends have got.
It’s only this evening that I have really thought ‘so what if I am not engaged, moving out, having babies’ my journey is on a completely different path right now, I feel that I am still trying to work out who I am and enjoying 30 life experiences that I might not be able to afford to do when those things happen for me.
So, yes, even if sometimes I do sit and think ‘my friends are really lucky’ those are the days when I need to sit down and look and my life and all the things I have going on for me right now and realise that actually I am just as lucky and that there is probably people who are envious of my lifestyle.
So if you find yourself in a bit of a ponder and feel like your not achieving as much as others, take 5 minutes to step outside of the situation and see what you have got. I bet when you think about it you will resale you have just as much as them!
So be pleased when you get to hand the baby back when it’s filled its nappy, be relieved when you don’t have to be the one stressed out planning a wedding, find joy in going to house party and not having to worry about people spilling things on your carpet or tidying up the next day! Your time will come, but for now make the most of living at home with no responsibilites, going on holidays and days out and just enjoy being in love.
After all you want good stories to tell the grand kids right?!
p.s LOVE YOU MATT xxxxxxx