Just to make my head a bit clearer, I googled the definition of Selfish today….
Selfish: (of a person, action, or motive) lacking consideration for other people; concerned chiefly with one’s own personal profit or pleasure
You may think that it is bit odd considering I am 25 year old woman, however I wanted to be clear in my mind that I can actually be quite selfish at times. Don’t get me wrong, I will bend over backwards to help some people BUT over the years I have learnt when it is appropriate to say NO and to actually put myself first (it wasn’t an easy lesson). I don’t consider putting myself first to be selfish, which I know some will disagree, but if I was to constantly put others first when would I actually get to do things for me? Surely you would end up resenting everyone and people will take you for granted and expect you to be there 24/7 and to drop everything just for them? Does that not make them selfish for not taking you into consideration? Therefore is saying NO every now and again actually an Unselfish act?
I defiantly know a few people that need to learn to be more selfish and say no and think about themselves but on the other scale, I know people that need to say YES more and stop being selfish!
You are probably thinking ‘she has officially lost it’! I wouldn’t blame you, as writing this I think I may have! However, speaking with Matt over the weekend about our Vegas Trip next year (to cross of MY list)it turns out he actually wants to do incorporate an adventure and we are going to work in something extra so he can cross off something’s from his “list”. Selfishly, I never even took his list into consideration and just assumed he would come to Vegas with Me and our friends to do something for me. This got the wheels in my head turning, he so desperately wants to travel Asia/Australia area and we did discuss me going with him and leaving my job. However, we realised that would be a silly move and that as I wasn’t really wanting to see those places I wouldn’t go. Sat in the office today, I realised how SELFISH I have been in completely dismissing his dreams and ambitions and just greedily assumed he would be there to do everything with me, but I wouldn’t show any support in return? Which is totally unfair.
So I told Matt that next year I will go to Indiana with my family for 2 weeks and then we will go on holiday for 2 weeks to cross something off HIS list and I will for once do something for HIM.
I have always said that I am not sure what me and Matt have in common and that I believe the only reason our relationship works and has lasted so long is that we only see each other 2-3 times a week and we try to make the most of all the time we have together. Having a relationship like that isn’t easy, however, if anything it has allowed us both to remain individuals and still have our own lives, dreams and ambitions but also have the luxury that we have someone that we love to report back to and share some fantastic experiences with.
So, I ask that if you recognise yourself in this blog post, either to be someone that takes others for granted OR if you are the person that never says NO. Try and change it up a bit, you never know you might end up being appreciated a bit more by those around you!
As one of my fellow blogger always preaches….BE KIND.