Sooooo earlier this week I had an appointment with an endocrinologist at my local hospital for my PCOS. I was originally referred to a gynae last year, but after a follow up appointment earlier in the year I was discharged as I wasn’t ready to start looking into my fertility any deeper.
After a catch up with my GP and figuring out what I want to do about my PCOS he decided and agreed with the gynae that an appointment with an endocrinologist was the best option. I did some googling about what they look into for PCOS, but its all quite limited and not clear – apart from that they are there to help with hormone imbalances, which is what PCOS is.
I had been quite nervous leading up to my appointment, I know what my body needs to do to reduce the external symptoms, but will power is stopping me. However, even weeks where I am 100% on plan, nothing happens – perhaps I wanting results too quickly? It had left me wondering what else they can suggest – are they going to put me on more meds? Will they actually help me?
But what I keep asking myself is when will I be normal?
I get so cross at myself for asking that question because I am normal, for ME. My normal isn’t the same as your normal and your normal isn’t the same as your next door neighbours. Surely that is what makes us all unique and brilliant? I am trying to encourage myself and others to remember that we are enough as we are, there is no normal, but sometimes you can forget this.
Sat in the waiting room flicking through a magazine that’s over a year old, what comes on the radio? The Spice Girls. Instantly, any worries I have and all the fears I feel are banished. I am here, getting help for a problem that is the root of all my insecurities and makes me feel less of a woman. I am here to turn things around and put a step forward in the right direction.
In fact, I am going to treat you to a tune……
After that short Spice Girl break, we continue! After listening to my PCOS journey and medical history and some family medical history we get to talking. Initially we talk about about fertility & he sets the record straight that actually concieving wont be as difficult as I have been told before by previous GPs, dependent on how my ovulation cycles are I should be fine. Even if it doesn’t happen right away there are plenty of medications that can assist and he was actually really confident which is quite reasurring!
We got onto talking about hirutism and how much of a frustration it is for me, he advised that he could put me on a testosterone blocker which will help BUT that it does come with the risk of kidney failure and weekly blood tests for a long time. So I decided that at the moment I don’t want to take that risk on and would try something different, we spoke about how weight loss can have a big impact on the way that hormones work and he told me what I have been hearing for the longest time.
I need to lose weight, to reset my hormones and help my body.
I must have looked quite downcast & he reassured me that it is possible and I can do it as I have done before as I told him. I said that I am going to slimming world, but truthfully not really sticking to it but that I dont think Metformin is helping either. So his suggestion was to up my metformin to 2000mg a day & stick to the Slimming World plan & I should start to see results, when I asked him how much I needed to lost to reset my body, he suggested I look at what I need to do to get within a healthy BMI range. We agreed that I would go back in 3 months time & have bloods done beforehand to make sure that there wasn’t anything else hormonal going on.
So, I came away a bit disappointed that still the option is losing weight & thinking that losing weight would be the 1 think we didn’t discuss! However, this is it, I need to start looking after my body better, I need to fuel my body the right way to help it function better – that is the fix. Me.
Back to basics I go, I am writing everything down, I am counting my syns and healthy extras. I am back in the zone, not for anybody else, but for me. I dont want to SKINNY or THIN, I want to be HEALTHY. I want to allow my body to function how it should do, I have a goal, but I wont share it.
I just ask that family and friends are supportive and understand that if I say NO its for my HEALTH.
Whilst I am disappointed that I can’t get any more help than what I have currently, I would rather have to be the one to reset my body than put something into my body that could lead it to fail. I started to increase the metformin that day, its just 2 days in as I write this, currently no problems with my digestive system (what a win), but I am unusually tired and feel like you do before you get fluey, like a bit body achy. Hopefully my body handles the 500mg increase well and I see a great loss on the scales this week, but I am prepared.
I will update you all in a few weeks time with how things are going – hopefully it will be good news!